So Fifty Shades of Grey is mommy porn, huh? Well, every mommy I know is entirely too busy to read through so much humdrum dialogue and description. If we wanted romantic dribble, we'd turn on a Lifetime movie. After all, aren't those lurid sex scenes the only reason we picked up the book anyway?
To speed things up, I uploaded the kinky tome to my e-reader and searched for a few key words (surprisingly there wasn't a "penis" in a single passage). This little trick helped me skip the foreplay and get straight to the passion. Here’s a cheat sheet on where to find the steamiest bits.
More from The Stir: '50 Shades of Grey’ Could Turn Moms Into Sex Kittens
"breast" on page 104:
"Very nice," he whispers appreciatively, and my nipples harden even more. He blows very gently on one as his hand moves to my other breast, and his thumb slowly rolls the end of my nipple elongating it. I groan, feeling the sweet sensation all the way to my groin ...
"writhes" on page 214:
He pinches me hard, and my body writhes convulsively against his front. I gasp at the acute pleasure/pain. I feel him against me. I moan and my hands clench in his hair pulling harder ...
"pounding" on page 223:
I moan loudly. He moves, pounding into me, a fast, intense pace against my sore behind. The feeling is beyond exquisite, raw and debasing and mind-blowing ...
"rhythm" on page 329:
He slides his leg in between mine, pushing my feet father apart, widening my stance, and runs my hands over my sex, one hand at a time in turn, setting up a rhythm. It's so erotic. Truly I am a marionette and he is the master puppeteer ...
"spread" on page 371:
I groan. Parting my legs, he cuffs first my right ankle and then my left so I am staked out, spread-eagled, and totally vulnerable to him ...
Other tantalizing terms you should definitely try: "wet," "whip," and "ravaged."
Do you think Fifty Shades of Grey lives up to the hype?
Image via Amazon
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Comments 71
I hold no hard feelings towards E.L. James, she seems charming and delightful in interviews ...I know this started as a fan fic on Twilight and took on a whole new life and kudo's to her for cashing in on it and reaping the benefits ...I do however think her publishing company (which is based out of Australia) drank one too many glasses of Yellowtail during the editing.
Just began it last night. The writing is... mediocre, at best, but there's something about the characters of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele that are simply enthralling. I HATE Twilight and only just yesterday became aware that it began as a fanfiction. I, myself, write Harry Potter fanfiction (or I did, before kids) and I understand the lure of fanfiction. lol Also, kudos for cashing in! I'm super excited to finish the book, even though it isn't brilliant... there really IS just 'something' about that Christian Grey (but could she have not picked more original names?).
I take plenty of time to read, yet this is not anywhere near my To-be Read list......
Why is this website so obsessed with this awful book? There is like 3 new articles a day about it. I read it, it was terrible and I don't understand all the hype.
Wow...lots of negative comments here. Don't knock it till you read it. Its not just about sex.
StormRyder has it right. I used to feel inhibited in showing my sexuality with my husband until I finally realized it increased both my and his pleasure when I totally let go. If you aren't already--try it. You'll both like it :) Haven't read the books, although curious about them.