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15 Ways to Turn Vanilla Sex Into Mind-Blowing Sex

by Andrew Kardon on May 27, 2012 at 3:00 PM

The lovely and talented Aunt Becky recently offered up 15 sex tips for spicing up your sex life. She explained how all you ladies can turn your vanilla sex into something a bit more ... flavorful. Well, she's inspired me to offer up a similar themed list for all the guys out there.

Screw that vanilla sex stuff, though -- we're going for Rocky Road here. So without further delay, here's a list of ways to mix things up in the bedroom and get your better half all hot and bothered:

1) Give her a full body massage. Start at her neck and slowly work your way down her back. Fight. Every. Single. Urge. To. Reach. Around. To. Her. Chest.

2) Don't kiss her. Instead, press your lips ever so gently against hers. Hold them there, then slowly back away. Yeah, this'll drive her insane.

3) Take a bubble bath. Fill the tub, light some candles, and get the bubbles flowing. Then just enjoy each other's company as you play footsie and get each other's back. And if you're lucky... front.

4) Become strangers. Line up babysitters and book a room at a local hotel. Then call your wife and tell her to pack a bag (including that sexy red number) and meet you at the hotel bar. Give each other fake names and pretend you're meeting for the first time, before you head up to the room.

5) Break out the frosting. Grab a can of vanilla frosting or whipped cream and start decorating each other's bodies. Commence licking.

6) Get yourself some silk boxers. Wear some silk boxers; guys aren't the only ones who like seeing their partners dress up. Warning! Don't mix your outfit with silk sheets or your slide into home base will feel more like a slip n' slide.

7) Head to the backyard. Set up a blanket somewhere secluded outside and start going to town. There's just something about doing it under the stars, as well as the danger of someone catching you. Just watch out for nocturnal animals. Nobody likes skunk in their junk.

8) Use fuzzy handcuffs. You can get a pair at any sex shop or a store like Hot Topic or Spencer's. Chain her to the bed, to a railing by the stairs, or to her other hand behind her back. Just make sure the kids are asleep, or you'll have a lot of explaining to do.

9) Make her wait. Another one that's far from easy for guys. Get a full-on make-out session going with super long kisses, until she's begging you for more. Then keep kissing her until she absolutely can't take it.

10) Use her photo. Tell her how you recently pleasured yourself looking at that hot photo of her. Then whip it out (the photo) and show her how you did it.

11) Breathe in her ear. Don't go all Darth Vader on her, but gently nibble on her ear and breathe softly into it. The warm air will quickly drive her wild.

12) Buy her 50 Shades of Grey. I've already gone over this one, but reading this erotic fiction is a surefire way to rev up her engine. Stock up on the full trilogy to maximize the action.

13) Ice, ice, baby. Put an ice cube in your mouth and slowly lick her body all over. The coldness will jack up the sensation factor for sure.

14) Give your own striptease. Find yourself a pair of cowboy boots and a 10-gallon hat, or maybe a policeman's uniform, then have her sit in a chair and watch you perform for her. Forget how ridiculous you feel and just go for it -- she'll definitely appreciate the attempt.

15) Do the dishes. When you finish eating dinner, tell her to relax, you're doing the dishes. And to really get her hot and heavy, wipe down the counters and table!

How does your man spice your sex life up?

 

Image via Rhodejs/Flickr

Filed Under: erotica, sex secret, turn-ons, fifty shades of grey

Comments

18
  • kaerae
    -- Nonmember comment from

    kaerae

    May 27, 2012 at 3:32 PM
    *snore* typical guy answers...
  • Emily
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Emily

    May 27, 2012 at 3:44 PM
    Bahahahaha!!! All I can picture is my hubs trying any of this and me trying my damnedest not to laugh. Except for maybe the last one.
  • mdw
    -- Nonmember comment from

    mdw

    May 27, 2012 at 4:02 PM
    i dont care if it is typical guy answers. Its takes 2 people to have a sex life but most women spend so much time reading different things THEY can do to spice up their sex lives...its rare to read a guy writing things guys can do. And the majority of these will actually work (for me at least) kudos to you! You mightve wrote typical guy answers but its not typical for a guy to want to read ways to add some spice.
  • Boobo...
    --

    Boobookittt74

    May 27, 2012 at 4:34 PM
    Hahaha YES the dishes!! I agree on that one! When my hubby does housework especially when I didn't TELL him to do it I am totally nicer to him!!
  • stace...
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    stacey541

    May 27, 2012 at 4:40 PM

    All I can think of is the laundry after #5 and the places you would get mosquito bites in after #7....


  • jessi...
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    jessicasmom1

    May 27, 2012 at 6:44 PM

    I love to see my fiance do work around here. IT helps greatly and I am so not used to having a man around .


  • Nicole
    -- Nonmember comment from

    Nicole

    May 27, 2012 at 7:27 PM
    Hmmm, maybe it's because I'm in a different age group (early 20's), but I've trained my boyfriend to do nearly all of these. I'm still waiting on 6 and 14, and I am definitely going to try 4. As for 12, I think 50 shades of gray is unhealthy because displays a mental illness, sadism, as though it is okay. (if you don't believe sadism is a mental illness, look it up. It's under the classification of a personality disorder). I'm all for rough sex, but pain is considered bad for a reason.
  • jamie
    -- Nonmember comment from

    jamie

    May 27, 2012 at 10:15 PM
    Nicole- Just because you can cite sadism as a mental illness doesn't mean anyone who takes part in a SAFE SANE AND CONSUENTUAL relationship with MUTUAL BENEFITS has one.

    Early 20's... let me guess, first or second year psych major? ;) I joke, I'm in my early 20's as well, but I've been involved in my local bdsm scene much longer than 50 shades of grey has been on a best sellers list. You really SHOULD read up on a bdsm lifestyle before insulting everyone involved as someone with a mental illness.

  • Water...
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    Water_geM

    May 27, 2012 at 10:39 PM

    go back to drawing board,bub.

    the whole article was dripping of things cosmo has gone over about 60 time since i was 15.

    except the 50 shades of grey thing and that sir is risking a slap across the face....

    also in my bedroom a man striptease is something for  comedic entertainment...


  • Water...
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    Water_geM

    May 27, 2012 at 10:40 PM

    the dushes was the only one that might work..id throw in a mopping,vacuum,and puttign kids to bed for good measure.


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