The lovely and talented Aunt Becky recently offered up 15 sex tips for spicing up your sex life. She explained how all you ladies can turn your vanilla sex into something a bit more ... flavorful. Well, she's inspired me to offer up a similar themed list for all the guys out there.
Screw that vanilla sex stuff, though -- we're going for Rocky Road here. So without further delay, here's a list of ways to mix things up in the bedroom and get your better half all hot and bothered:
1) Give her a full body massage. Start at her neck and slowly work your way down her back. Fight. Every. Single. Urge. To. Reach. Around. To. Her. Chest.
2) Don't kiss her. Instead, press your lips ever so gently against hers. Hold them there, then slowly back away. Yeah, this'll drive her insane.
3) Take a bubble bath. Fill the tub, light some candles, and get the bubbles flowing. Then just enjoy each other's company as you play footsie and get each other's back. And if you're lucky... front.
4) Become strangers. Line up babysitters and book a room at a local hotel. Then call your wife and tell her to pack a bag (including that sexy red number) and meet you at the hotel bar. Give each other fake names and pretend you're meeting for the first time, before you head up to the room.
5) Break out the frosting. Grab a can of vanilla frosting or whipped cream and start decorating each other's bodies. Commence licking.
6) Get yourself some silk boxers. Wear some silk boxers; guys aren't the only ones who like seeing their partners dress up. Warning! Don't mix your outfit with silk sheets or your slide into home base will feel more like a slip n' slide.
7) Head to the backyard. Set up a blanket somewhere secluded outside and start going to town. There's just something about doing it under the stars, as well as the danger of someone catching you. Just watch out for nocturnal animals. Nobody likes skunk in their junk.
8) Use fuzzy handcuffs. You can get a pair at any sex shop or a store like Hot Topic or Spencer's. Chain her to the bed, to a railing by the stairs, or to her other hand behind her back. Just make sure the kids are asleep, or you'll have a lot of explaining to do.
9) Make her wait. Another one that's far from easy for guys. Get a full-on make-out session going with super long kisses, until she's begging you for more. Then keep kissing her until she absolutely can't take it.
10) Use her photo. Tell her how you recently pleasured yourself looking at that hot photo of her. Then whip it out (the photo) and show her how you did it.
11) Breathe in her ear. Don't go all Darth Vader on her, but gently nibble on her ear and breathe softly into it. The warm air will quickly drive her wild.
12) Buy her 50 Shades of Grey. I've already gone over this one, but reading this erotic fiction is a surefire way to rev up her engine. Stock up on the full trilogy to maximize the action.
13) Ice, ice, baby. Put an ice cube in your mouth and slowly lick her body all over. The coldness will jack up the sensation factor for sure.
14) Give your own striptease. Find yourself a pair of cowboy boots and a 10-gallon hat, or maybe a policeman's uniform, then have her sit in a chair and watch you perform for her. Forget how ridiculous you feel and just go for it -- she'll definitely appreciate the attempt.
15) Do the dishes. When you finish eating dinner, tell her to relax, you're doing the dishes. And to really get her hot and heavy, wipe down the counters and table!
How does your man spice your sex life up?
Image via Rhodejs/Flickr