10 Things a Husband Should Never Say to His Wife

husband's handsWhoever wrote the wedding vows got it all wrong. It should be love, honor, and eye roll.

If you've been married more than a month, you know what I'm talking about. It's those little moments when he actually thinks he's being smart, sincere, witty, or helpful, but in reality it's just downright annoying.

Here are some of the comments that make women question how good a catch they've got:

  1. "Are you gonna wear Spanx with that?" While honesty is generally the best policy, your wife does not want to know that you know she wears a body shaper. Find some other way to delicately point out the pudge.
  2. "Okay, I'll babysit." How many times do we have to tell you, it's not babysitting if they are your own kids.
  3. "Whoever makes more money should do less housework." Who are you, Don Draper? The Mad Men era ended, like, 50 years ago so grab a broom.
  4. "Don't worry, it'll grow back." After a bad haircut, those are the least soothing words you can say. Just come up with something you like about the new look. 
  5. "Why don't you ever wear stuff like that?" For most moms, the days of daisy dukes and mini skirts are long gone. Comparing us to the rare mommy who still has the nerve to slip on skimpy outfits will only get you in trouble.
  6. "But I changed a diaper this morning." Yeah, and guess how many times your darling daughter has peed since then. Your turn!
  7. "Really, how much harder would another kid be?" Of course the person who does the least amount of cooking, cleaning, and nurturing would think adding to the brood was no big deal. Let's see if you feel that way after playing Mr. Mom for week.
  8. "You've turned into your mother." It's a reality no woman is ever ready or willing to face, whether it's true or not.
  9. "Wow, your best friend looks EXACTLY the same as she did in high school!" Implicit in that is your wife doesn't. It's better for you to gawk in secret.
  10. "I can't find my..." Let's get real. You can't find it because you didn't look that hard.

More from The Stir: 5 Tasks My Husband Just Can't Do

What are some other things a husband should never say to his wife?


Image via adactio/Flickr

101 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Carol99 Carol99

Reminds me why I'm twice divorced and happily single.

bstar07 bstar07

"When are you going to swich to diet soda too? Let's face it, everyone could lose a little weight". Yes, he really did say this to me once.

the4m... the4mutts

I don't think these are "never say" things. They're annoying, sure. But "should never say" is like;

You're a total bitch

You're stupid

Get off your fat ass

I want to screw your best friend

Any crude name like slut or whore

And the worst, IMO, is just because you're angry, saying shit like, "they're probably not even my kids".



I understand that this site is more light-hearted about relationship things, but I wish that just once, one of you bloggers would get real, and show that you have something other than these silly "concerns" to talk about.

*and no, I don't wish you experience anything worse, just realize once in a while, that there are bigger issues*

easun... easunshine

Or, the readers could stop taking things like "never say" so literally.



I love number 10!!! Happens ALL the time around here.

nonmember avatar nunya

I hear ya the4mutts. My ex used to call me vile, mean things...while he was beating my a$$. But honestly the most hurtful things was when I was tired, stressed and just didn't want to go back to walmart to replace the cupcakes I already bought and he said "well maybe you shouldn't have had kids". Ouch!

Maryah Tapia

WOW, Really? Who marries douche-bags like this? My hubby would never say these things, 'cuz he doesn't even think most of these things. I married a MAN, a REAL MAN, who knows that work, finances, parenting, & housework is all a two-way street. We each pull our own weight, & are each other's biggest cheerleaders & supporters. As for the rest, even if he secretly thinks it, he would never say it out loud, b/c he cares about my feelings, & he really does think I'm a sexy-mama. What a concept...

nonmember avatar HappyDad

What about single income families? I am the sole bread winner in my family and my wife is a stay at home mom. I work 72 hours per week (not by choice). Should I do half the work around the house?? And if my wife starts acting like her mother I will point it out, women have no problem pointing out that we are acting like a less favored family member when our behavior doesn't please. It sounds like someone needs to grow some thicker skin.

prinz... prinzesa_edith

Your body shot to hell after the kids.

True story.

Eques... EquestrianMom

Lol! My ex used to say all these things :P Note he is now my ex! 


 Now all I deal with is #10, from my son and boyfriend, I can deal with that :P Most times I already know where missing item is, if not, I give them a list of usual places to go look, cause yeah, they didn't look, they just hoped I knew already! LOL!

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

Happydad - You should be coming home and taking over all the childcare and doing most of the housework after your long shifts at work so your wife can have more time to sit on her ass. That is the general consensus on cafemom where a lare percentage of women believe that any man who doesn't do his job and most of hers too is a slacker.



It wouldn't bother me if my hubby said any of those things. He would never say he's going to babysit but I have occasionally said things like "hey honey, can you babysit while I go grab the mail?" just to tease him because dads saying they are babysitting is one of his pet peeves.

1-10 of 101 comments 12345 Last