Put down the wine. Forget the flowers. Cancel the dinner reservations. If you guys out there really want to get some from your wives (like more than once a month), then just follow this very simple advice: Buy them a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. In fact, splurge for the entire trilogy.
Don't ask. Don't even read it. Just buy it and give it to your wife. It doesn't matter if you're newlyweds (congrats, by the way!) or if you've been married 10, 20, or 30 years. For some crazy reason, this best-selling novel by E.L. James is turning women on more than we ever will.
Apparently there's a reason this book is referred to as "mommy porn." Moms (heck, even some grandmothers) are devouring this tale of bondage and submission, stopping only to attack their husbands when things get too intense. It's a miracle, I tell you!
I know firsthand that it works. My wife and I have a healthy sex life, but man, after she started reading Fifty Shades of Grey, she literally couldn't keep her hands off me. I'm talking porn-star intensity here. Uh, not that I know what that looks like ... Anyway, it's a double bonus, really. You get way more action, but you also don't have to spend time doing those things we guys loathe -- like talking.
What's the book about? Damned if I know. My wife tried explaining it to me and my eyes glazed over. And no way am I reading it. I saw the first Twilight movie and wanted to poke my eyes out with a fork. This one's apparently even more painful. Plus, reading about porn, sorry ... reading about "erotica" just doesn't do it for us guys. We're visual. Maybe if there was a video of some hot blonde dancing around in her underwear while reading it to us, we'd pay attention.
All I know is that the book's about some guy named Christian Grey and he wears a lot of gray ties. Oh -- and he and the main character say, "Laters, baby" a lot. I have no clue what that's about, but when I head out to work each morning, I say that to my wife and she giggles. So just run with it.
So do yourself a favor and pick up Fifty Shades of Grey for your wife. Just make sure the kids are in bed before you give it to her, though. The book, I mean.
Does this book turn you -- or your other half -- on?
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Comments 66
jane,those books were well written and thought provoking...therein lies the difference,
anyone remember the tampon bit?
lmao
yeah 50 shades of grey ... thanks now I am pregnant .....woohooo
i wont be reading it
I have no interest what so ever in this book. If he bought it for me i'd exchange it for the new Jodi Picoult instead hehe
I had friends who loved it, so I tried to read it... definitely more creeped out than turned on! I'm not opposed to erotica, but this just did not do it for me, not even a little bit!
I just got book 3 to rent from the library since that was the only one available for me to read. I wasn't overly impressed at all. Normally, if a book is good I can read it in a pretty fast order (even though I get maybe 30-50 minutes a day to actually read like I want to on average lately.)