Why '50 Shades of Grey' Is a Must-Buy for Every Guy

LOL 67

50 Shades of Grey is the perfect aphrodisiacPut down the wine. Forget the flowers. Cancel the dinner reservations. If you guys out there really want to get some from your wives (like more than once a month), then just follow this very simple advice: Buy them a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. In fact, splurge for the entire trilogy.

Don't ask. Don't even read it. Just buy it and give it to your wife. It doesn't matter if you're newlyweds (congrats, by the way!) or if you've been married 10, 20, or 30 years. For some crazy reason, this best-selling novel by E.L. James is turning women on more than we ever will.

Apparently there's a reason this book is referred to as "mommy porn." Moms (heck, even some grandmothers) are devouring this tale of bondage and submission, stopping only to attack their husbands when things get too intense. It's a miracle, I tell you!

I know firsthand that it works. My wife and I have a healthy sex life, but man, after she started reading Fifty Shades of Grey, she literally couldn't keep her hands off me. I'm talking porn-star intensity here. Uh, not that I know what that looks like ... Anyway, it's a double bonus, really. You get way more action, but you also don't have to spend time doing those things we guys loathe -- like talking.

What's the book about? Damned if I know. My wife tried explaining it to me and my eyes glazed over. And no way am I reading it. I saw the first Twilight movie and wanted to poke my eyes out with a fork. This one's apparently even more painful. Plus, reading about porn, sorry ... reading about "erotica" just doesn't do it for us guys. We're visual. Maybe if there was a video of some hot blonde dancing around in her underwear while reading it to us, we'd pay attention.

All I know is that the book's about some guy named Christian Grey and he wears a lot of gray ties. Oh -- and he and the main character say, "Laters, baby" a lot. I have no clue what that's about, but when I head out to work each morning, I say that to my wife and she giggles. So just run with it.

So do yourself a favor and pick up Fifty Shades of Grey for your wife. Just make sure the kids are in bed before you give it to her, though. The book, I mean.

Does this book turn you -- or your other half -- on?

erotica, hooking up, romance tip, sex secret, turn-ons, fifty shades of grey


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Carol99 Carol99

Sure, if you're sick, twisted, perverted and enjoy pain, control and humiliation.  If a woman meets a guy like Gray, she's be best served to go running and screaming into the night.  Things that seem good in fantasy are not so good in real life.

poshkat poshkat

Lol. I said the exact same thing you said about twilight. I read it. The whole time I felt like my brain was melting. I tried to read 50 shades of grey. I got to page 3. When did something that began as fanfiction count as literature???? Are people that dumb that they buy into this stuff as a "good read"??? I know 10 year Olds that write better than Stephanie meyer and E.L. James. These books are not good. The authors are extremely repetitive, using the same phrases over and over and the writing is very choppy. I guess this is what its come too, people not looking for stimulation in books but something so stupid and badly written they don't have to think much or actually use their brains to read. That makes me sad.

nonmember avatar ELJamesLover

It's called FANTASY and FUN! So for all the literacy critics, get a grip, let your hair down, enjoy some mommy porn! I know my husband is very happy I read it...

nonmember avatar ElcyIL

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddd... The haters are here! Good thing we have them here to set us straight, I mean, who are we thinking that reading could be just for fun too?? Fantasy, BAH! Not for their uptight (and probably rarely laid) selves!

Jennifer Armintrout

This book is a perfect, beautiful incapsulation of every single trope of the rape culture we live in. That's why it's doing so well... it's selling to women what they've been told they SHOULD want for their entire lives, and giving them permission to give in and give up. That's why the most ardent defenders of the book are only able to strike out  in ad hominem attacks on those who criticize (see the above "uptight" and "probably rarely laid" for a prime example), without ever addressing the issues detractors are bringing up. They can't defend the content of the book, because they would have to admit that they're tacitly endorsing misogyny, stalking and abuse. Christian Grey is emotionally abusive and manipulative throughout the book, Ana Steele is dangerously uneducated about her sexuality and at times is literally frightened of her romantic interest.  That's the "fun" and "fantasy" women are enjoying.

nonmember avatar Sandrita

Ugg haters, go away! It is not about rape or being treated horribly. It is a love story with a lot of sex- so what! Christian changes through the books and we all know how women love to think they can change a man. He absolutely adores Ana, and wants to rock her world- women love that too. He is a bit of a stalker, but it is a book and not real life. I am reading the series again, I enjoy getting lost in the love story. And yes, my husband is reaping the benefits. Some women may want to try some of the sexual acts, some may not- who cares! If you don't like it, big deal, but some of us do and not for the ridiculous reasons being listed here. I am an educated women, married for 10 years, and gasp a teacher! I don't read a book to see how well it is written, I want to enjoy the story. These books are very enjoyable and fantastic for ones libido.

nonmember avatar Jane

I agree - I read for escapism, fun and fantasy. Jeez, I spend 12 hours straight for 10 days in a row, thinking and using my brain and working my arse off as an ER doctor - I don't want to then sit down and read a book that strains my already frazzled brain further. I want to escape and read something fun and fanciful. I'm not ashamed to admit it - I absolutely LOVED the Fifty Shades trilogy - and I certainly don't think I'm dumb by any stretch! Sure, these books aren't particularly well written and yeah, perhaps they are a bit "choppy" and "repetitive". Who the f*&k cares - they're fun and Christian Grey is HOT!!!!! Relax and live a little people!

nonmember avatar Jane

I really don't understand comments like those made by Jennifer above: that people "can't defend the content of the book because they would have to admit that they're tacitly endorsing misogyny, stalking and abuse". IT'S FICTION!!! It's not real life. My goodness, there are so many books that push boundaries, challenge our thoughts, beliefs, morals, make us feel uncomfortable and they have gone on to become classics - some are even taught in our schools. Huckleberry Finn, Catcher in the Rye, Lolita, Awakening, The Color Purple, Lady Chatterley's Lover, Lord of the Flies, The Scarlett Letter, To Kill A Mockingbird, etc etc etc. Some of these classics were extremely controversial for their time and some were even banned!

Saying that I condone rape, stalking, violence against women, abuse and misogyny simply because I read and ENJOYED Fifty Shades of Grey is like saying I "tacitly endorse" the violent murder of children because I read and enjoyed The Hunger Games!!! It's completely ridiculous.

nonmember avatar breakstoys

sure buy it for your wife but understand what others are saying here, that it's just fiction and thank goodness, not because it depicts abuse and misogyny, but because it MISrepresents what bdsm can bring to a relationship. It might spark great ideas to bring into the bedroom, sure, but please get some accurate info from a reliable source if you think you might want to delve into any of the aspects of bdsm the book mentions. Try buying the book "Screw the Roses Bring Me the Thorns" along with 50 Shades for a much healthier, safer take on spicing up your love life.

Water... Water_geM

the book seriously promotes the "i can change him" mindset..

the sex scenes are boring and increasingly dull.as far as their dynamic i don't care.its consensual.

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