When you have been married nine years and together for more than 11, sometimes it's easy to take sex for granted. My husband and I knew that Lifetime's 7 Days of Sex challenge was not going to be easy. We knew it would require more focus and determination than we had been giving to sex in recent months. But we also didn't realize how good that can be.
Day seven marks the end of our week-long journey. Over the course of a week, many things can happen. A person can start to change a habit, write a short story, or learn a new skill. I don't think a week is enough time to save a failing marriage, but since my marriage was never failing, it certainly was enough time to give us pause and make us look at some areas that maybe could improve.
Last night we "renewed" our vows.
I can't say it was deep and profound and it probably didn't change our lives or our commitment to one another, but hearing him affirm how much I (and our family) mean to him was pretty powerful.
Even the act of writing my vows was good for me. I started from the beginning, describing the moment I met him (when we were 10) and the moment I re-met him after not seeing him for seven years (when we were 22). Sometimes it's good to remember how things were in order to get it back.
My husband and I have always been close. We have an enviable marriage in many, many ways and I hear all the time from friends how "perfect" we seem. This is largely because we are best friends. For years there wasn't a day that went by that he or I didn't call the other multiple times at work just to check in. We have always had adventures together and not been able to wait to tell each other things.
But no marriage is "perfect" and even our strengths had changed recently. In some ways, this challenge helped us realize that.
I don't think seven days of sex can save a truly failing marriage. It's not enough. One week can do a lot, but it can't work miracles. It IS enough time, though, for an otherwise happy couple to get shaken from a rut and be reminded of who they used to be.
Now that the pressure is off, my husband and I have a date night tonight. We have a weekend away in three weeks for our wedding anniversary and we have plans to check in more. We have never been in "trouble" the way some describe it, but it never hurts to look more at any marriage, even when it's a good one.
Who can't use a little more intimacy? We are very busy people and remembering "us" as a twosome not JUST a foursome is a valuable takeway from this week.
This is Day Seven of the 7 Days of Sex Challenge issued by Lifetime TV. To see the rest, click here.
Are you going to try this challenge?