'7 Days of Sex' Challenge Day Six: THIS Is Why Married Sex Is Hard

When you have been married nine years and together for more than 11, sometimes it's easy to take sex for granted. My husband and I knew that Lifetime's 7 Days of Sex challenge was not going to be easy. We knew it would require more focus and determination than we had been giving to sex in recent months. But we also didn't realize how good that can be.

Day six was a Monday, which never bodes well for us. We were up late Sunday night after our long drive home from the lake. We had a million chores to do to get ready for the week (laundry, lunch packing, unpacking from the lake) and our cleaning people were coming bright and early in the morning, which meant we would have no time in the morning, plus I was spending the morning at my son's preschool.

When I woke up for the gym, I shut off my alarm without making the class. This never bodes well.

On days I skip the gym, I become cranky and hard to be around, so we had one strike by 7:30 a.m. By the time the kids were in bed and I was finished with my job, it was 11:45 and my husband was completely passed out in our bed.

The kids had been a challenge to put to bed. I had to watch two shows for work and the day had been a generally exhausting one that culminated with the cat peeing on our sofa for no discernible reason.

In short, there was very little reason to want to have sex and many, many reasons not to. And this is exactly the issue.

Our lives are simply too busy and stressful to have sex some days. It's not about "making it a priority" or neglecting one another at all. It is truly about the sheer amount of demands on both of our lives and attention. Sure, I could find the space by skipping the gym, but working out is my sanity. I would no sooner skip the gym than I would skip brushing my teeth or hair.

Though I did wake my husband up and have some sleepy, obligatory sex, there is no way I would have done so had the challenge not dictated it. I am almost finished with 50 Shades of Grey and yes, it is hot. But even an erotic novel can't fix our issue, which is about neither drive nor desire.

It is about time. And time is something we have in very short supply these days.

There are not a lot of ways around that, but we can try. And realizing where we can improve is half the battle. Sure, we can't create more hours in the day, but we can use the little time we DO have for each other rather than falling in front of the TV, exhausted.

Tonight is the very last night and we are supposed to renew our vows to one another. I am looking forward to it.

This is Day Six of the 7 Days of Sex Challenge issued by Lifetime TV. To see the rest, click here.

Do you have enough time for sex?



sex, marriage


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1Fire... 1FireSafeMom

Check out OneExtraordinary Marriage ... they are a FANTASTIC Christian couple and they wrote a book about this!  So wonderful that you have taken this awesome step in your marriage to make sure it is the focus!!  Congrats guys!!

runninro runninro

I've been loosely following your trek through this "challenge" and it seems to me that the focus is all on the sex and not the intimacy.  The connection between you and your spouse.  Trust me I understand the whole no time for sex thing.  Heck your day sounds almost identical to ours (minus the cat...we have dogs and 3 of them).  My husband and I are working towards the goal of just being alone together.  We're just excited to get to sleep together ALONE.  No 3 year old, no 3 dogs.  This is after a day of work that usually leads into the night, fighting with the two 13 yr olds about cleaning their plates, doing their homework, getting their teeth brushed and general babysitting them all evening (sigh boys!). Oh and did I mention I'm 6 mos preggers with our 5th child? Yeah, sex...sure.  We got 15 mins of alone time back in Nov 2011 and look where that got us?!? LOL. But when it does all work and we get to cuddle in bed together ALONE and just sleep.  That is more orgasmic than a real orgasm. The sex will happen but that's not our goal.  The being together and living lives together is what keeps our marriage strong.

Diane Escalera

7 Days of Sex takes a page out of Romance Author Diane Escalera's latest release, STILL HOT FOR YOU. See how her couple brings the sexy back to marriage. Ebook available now on Amazon, B&N, and digital bookstores everywhere!

nonmember avatar Pusser

Reading about the night and previous ones is why my wife prefers morning sex. In the evening folks are tired, distracted, etc., so we set the alarm a few minutes early and enjoy some intimacy while we're rested and refreshed from a good night's sleep.

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