When you have been married nine years and together for more than 11, sometimes it's easy to take sex for granted. My husband and I knew that Lifetime's 7 Days of Sex challenge was not going to be easy. We knew it would require more focus and determination than we had been giving to sex in recent months. But we also didn't realize how good that can be.
Day five had a lot of pressure because of the, ahem, failure of Day four. Since it was Mother's Day, we had a lot of family around to watch our kids, which gave us ample time to take a long hike followed by a long kayak ride.
Time alone is pretty much the key to this week, and if there is one thing my husband and I excel at, it's being active together.
Though we spent our honeymoon on a tropical beach, we aren't beach people. Give us backpacks and kayaks and tents any day over five-star hotels and resorts.
Our best trip together was a 10-day sea kayaking trip in Alaska. Needless to say, sports and the outdoors get us going and drive up our competitive spirit (as well as our sex drive).
About 3/4 of the way into our kayaking trip, we found a little cove and discovered a double kayak is much easier for these purposes than a mini van. At the risk of TMI (who am I kidding, we are way past that), let's just say this was the best day so far.
Five days in and we are finally starting to get the hang of this whole thing. It isn't the act itself that matters (though it's pretty fun), it's the lead-up. It's the bonding that comes from finding the space and time for intimacy. It's the laughter and the shared experience and the kissing and the lead-up that matter most.
On our way home from the lake, the kids asleep in the car seats behind us, my husband took my hand: "I want to keep this going," he said. "I want us to do this every day way past seven days."
He's right. Despite the near misses and the fails and some of the exhaustion, we are rediscovering aspects of ourselves that we haven't seen in a while.
Sure, my husband and I have a generally really great marriage. I consider him my best friend and we have always had great communication and a healthy sex life. But there is room for improvement in any marriage and focusing on one another has made us see some areas that we can make even better.
With only two days left, I can honestly say, I am going to be sad to see it go.
Do you think this experiment would help your marriage?
This is Day Five of the 7 Days of Sex Challenge issued by Lifetime TV. To see the rest, click here.