I'll readily admit that -- like most women in America right now -- I'm engrossed in E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. No shame here! Knowing that it began as Twilight fan fiction, I can't help but envision Christian Grey as RPatz and Anastasia Steele as KStew. But a'course, unlike Twilight scribe Stephenie Meyer, James is actually giving us what we want: A whole lotta SEX! Whoohoo! Unfortunately, just like her, she's made a dangerous misstep when it comes to the romance between her leading lovers.
Although Christian is ultimately a three-dimensonal, sympathetic character, he's also described repetitively as mercurial. Ana can't keep up with his ever-changing moods that blow breathtakingly hot to bone-chillingly cold. At least through most of the first book, Fifty's mysterious nature and hair-trigger mood swings have Anastasia walking on eggshells, petrified that he's going to snap. And this is somehow supposed to be ... sexy as hell?
I'm sorry, but what a crap message to send women!
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Anyone who has ever been with a man like that knows better. Being intimate with a man who you can't read, who is always playing mind games, who makes you feel like you have to be perpetually "on" in a way that doesn't come naturally doesn't make most women feel like they're Aphrodite or have their "inner goddess" doing cartwheels. It makes us feel like sh*t! Not to mention that having to endure that kind of behavior from a guy is exhausting. And in the most extreme cases, I wouldn't hesitate to call it emotional abuse.
What's more, women who find themselves believing that manipulative, mind-effing Christian Grey-like behavior is a-okay -- worse yet, attractive -- are only setting themselves up for failure in love.
I've been there. (Sigh ... Haven't we all?) And it wasn't until I got a good hard shake from a big sister-like roommate that I realized putting up with a guy like that was going to prevent me from finding someone worthy of me -- someone who could offer a real, stable relationship. Not long after she helped me see the light, I found my now-fiance, and every so often, in talking to single girlfriends who are dealing with shady Grey-like characters, I try to pass that wisdom along.
There are certainly aspects of Ana and Christian's relationship in Fifty Shades of Grey that are hot -- I'll give E.L. that much. But as far as equating mercurial mood swings and constant guessing games with a satisfying physical and emotional bond? Sounds more like a nightmare than a fantasy come true.
Have you ever been in a relationship with a standoff-ish, "mercurial," even manipulative guy like Christian Grey? Do you think it's wrong to glorify that kind of bad behavior?
Image via Barnes & Noble
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Comments 69
Sure a forceful guy in fiction is a huge turn on, but he has to have some soulfulness and heart too,---or, he risks turning into a villain. It's a delicate balance.
I haven't read these and not sure I ever will. Depending on the casting I may see the movie. Regardless in the rare case I read a book with a drawn out sex scene I skim or skip the entire thing normally. Sure I occasionally read a short erotic story but lots of them are of the supernatural variety so easier to seperate from reality. Sometimes I wonder if growing up reading Nora Roberts and Danielle Steele influcened how unhappy I can be with my married intimate life. Yeah I know virgins don't have orgasms the first time and are up for 4 more rounds that night, but it's harsh reality that many of us marry guys that don't live up to anything we've read either.
I saw 50 Shades of Grey on the shelf in Target about two weeks ago (20% off, no less!), and based on everything I had read about it, I decided to buy it. What a total waste of twelve dollars and change. How this book ever became a New York Times best seller is beyond me (granted, that would be based on how many copies were sold, and not how many were actually enjoyed).
Aside from being a poor writer, Ms James' habit of using the same handful of "big words" and descriptive words/phrases over...and over...and over...is outright annoying. It is called a thesaurus! If I had taken a shot every time I read about Mr Grey's "impassive expression", my liver would have shut down halfway through the story. On the same note, I am rather concerned about the female lead's blood sugar and/or pressure. Every conversation, situation, and memory makes the woman "flush", "blush", or "feel the color rise". Also, her characters and storyline often contradicted themselves.