A good friend of mine recently launched herself into the world of online dating. Like tons of singles -- especially single New Yorkers -- she's serious about meeting someone, but she's also incredibly busy. And as anyone who has launched a "find a soulmate" campaign on the web knows, the mission can turn into a full-time job. I've been there and so has Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham, who recently blogged about her tips for winning at online love. And judging from her advice, it sounds like she and I had similar experiences on JDate -- encountering many guys who misrepresent themselves.
Because it seems that even once you do carve out a solid chunk of time to focus on finding The One online, there are plenty of other obstacles that can get in your way. Like potential matches being total liars.
Now, don't get me wrong. I absolutely despise and disagree with the stereotype that everyone lies about who they are online, and you're bound to meet 10x as many creeps as upstanding gentlemen. That's simply not true. But yes, there are jerks, creeps, liars, cheaters, and men who aren't going to be 100 percent forthright with you -- even about the wildest things.
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For instance, on JDate, the premiere online dating site for Jews, you would think what you see is what you get -- at least in terms of religion. But no. Once I actually got into a convo with a guy on the site who eventually admitted to me that he wasn't Jewish at all. Italian Catholic, actually. Just happened to "have a thing for Jewish girls." Wow. Yes, it's flattering, I guess, but no one on that site is looking for a non-Jew who just happens to be a "fan" of Jewish women. Sorry, dude.
Beyond that, my online dating career included encounters with all sorts of BS -- from the completely nutso but ultimately harmless (like the who claimed to be "in sports marketing" ... aka he sold peanuts at the baseball stadium) to the emotionally manipulative and totally deceptive (like the apparent Nice Jewish Guy who appeared to be looking for a Nice Jewish Girl, but who I later found out had a shiksa girlfriend the entire time we dated! OMG!). ... Yeah.
These horror stories aside, once you weed through the phonies, you can definitely find your Prince Honest (let's not go with Charming, because that's a trait that might only exist to conceal Sketchy!). It just takes an eye and a lot of a patience for all the misrepresentation you're bound to encounter on your way to Mr. Right.
For all you online daters out there, what was your most horrific experience with someone who misrepresented themselves?
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