'Hot' Make-Up Sex Is Sure to Leave You Cold

couple pillow fightYou'd think someone who is conflict and argument averse would be the first person to sign up for make-up sex. After all, it's a quick, fun way to brush issues you don't want to get upset about under the rug and smooth over tension in a warm, hazy, post-coital glow. Sure, there are plenty of people who worship at the altar of this conflict resolution technique! I just don't happen to be one of them. I just can't imagine being in the mood for sex if there are issues left unaddressed. Given that tendency, it seems like I'm on the same page as Dr. Seth Meyers, who wrote a post on Psychology Today's website recently titled, "Make-up Sex Hurts: Why & How to Avoid It."

He calls it "bad news," because it rewards bad behavior. And individuals who have make-up sex aren't doing it because they desire intimacy. Nooo. They're doing it to get "high!"

And they do that by "making up" without doing the work it usually takes to, well, legitimately resolve a conflict. In other words, make-up sex is for drama queens. Go figure.

Dr. Meyers recommends sitting with your feelings for a bit after a fight to make sure you're having sex for the right reasons. Totally! He also recommends putting the brakes on a sexual encounter during which you feel "confused, angry or sad." And while that may sound sort of extreme, I'm definitely with the guy. Why would anyone want to go through with a sexual episode wherein you're feeling any of those upsetting emotions? It's just going to leave you feeling weirded out -- if not right away, then, at least eventually. And the same problem will remain.

The bottom-line: Make-up sex does hurt -- unless you've already made up beforehand. But if you have already talked it out, and then you go for it, that's a whole different -- and yes, totally sexy -- story.

How do you feel about make-up sex?



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Sierr... SierraLynn

I agree. We only do the make up sex thing if we have already talked out the problem and are okay with it. Otherwise, no. I can't get myself to want to have sex when I'm irritated with my husband.

tigge... tigger238

I always thought make up sex was for after you've talked through an argument. I just had make up sex recently and I was suprised that it was some of the best sex that I've ever had. There was a lot of passion behind it. I wouldn't make a habit out of it though.

NewMo... NewMomma.S

I remember one session I had with a boyfriend. It was a stupid arguement and for some reason we had sex while still mad. It was fantastic but I've never made a habit out of it. My husband and I have about one fight a year, though so that's not hard to do :-)

the4m... the4mutts

Makeup sex is healthier than OBLIGATORY sex.

butte... butterflymkm

Makeup sex can be fun once in a while and a good way to get out your frustrations and anger at each other. Anger is a passionate emotion too. But it surely isn't time for a nice slow cuddly love making session (that would be for after the make up talk...), it's a time for hardcore, scratching backs, animalistic, so good it hurts kind of sex.

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