The other day, I stumbled across an article on CNN discussing the "other male problem." It was referring to premature ejaculation (men who can't hold on longer than a minute). And while premature ejaculation (PE) is its own nightmare, the idea that women want long, pounding, all night sex sessions is simply just outdated and wrong.
Women talk. And most of what I hear from my friends and myself is that 10-15 minutes of actual intercourse is plenty. Sure, we want foreplay and romance and cuddling after, but a man who can last 10 minutes is usually right on target.
And yet if you talk to men, you get something else entirely.
They joke: "I am going to give her the best 10 minutes of her life," they might say. But behind that bravado is actual shame and feelings of inadequacy as if 10 minutes is somehow way too short.
And while obviously there are exceptions -- after all, what honeymooner or early couple doesn't love the occasional all-night sex session? -- generally speaking, 10 minutes is plenty.
We get sore! We get bored! For many women, 10 minutes is enough to hit their orgasm, so anything after that just feels a little like overkill and may result in boredom (and soreness). If you can get her to orgasm, you have done your job, good sir. You can stop now.
I know I don't speak for all women, and sure, there are likely women who like to be banged all night long. Good on them. Talk with your partner. If she is like that, then carry on. But many, many women are happy and satisfied with a 10-minute session bookended by a little foreplay and a little cuddling.
"Lasting" is lovely, but give me 10 skilled minutes most days and I am a happy and satisfied woman. I have things to do!
Besides, usually even "all night sex" had some periods of rest. Think multiple times over one time that lasts 3 hours. Our vaginas need some rest, dudes. Chafing is a very real problem.
Do you think all-night sex is overrated?
Image via M. Keefe/Flickr
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Comments 23
That being said, I haven't gotten it for 3 years.
I have only had 1 bf that could handle my sex drive, and its NOT my SO right now.
OMG get off me, I wanna watch Leno.
How about 30 to 45 on most nights. weekends a little longer, especially if Ive had some wine! ;)
@the4mutts...I agree completely.
During the week when we're both busy and trying to do a million things at once, 10-15 minute sessions during the day or night, is fine with me, but if we have enough time and nothing to do the next day, hell yea I want it all night long. Thankfully hubby and I have incredible sex drives and chemistry and we can keep up with each other all the time, every time. I enjoy sex with my husband wayyyyy to much to just ever be satisfied with 10-15 minute sessions as the normal for us, all night is better, thankfully he agrees with me.
NO. I don't understand gals who want less instead of more. Not saying there's anything wrong with it, just that I'm not like that.
Hey, I'll take what I can get. My hubby wakes up super early, and goes to bed early as well. Our sleep schedules and sex drives hardly ever match up. I'll take it if it's 5 minutes or 30. It's also never regular, but still. I'll take what I can get.