Getting over a breakup is a lot like grieving, which, in a sense you are. Grief is generally thought of to be something that happens when someone we love passes away. But grief is more than that - it's all about loss, and breaking up from a relationship is a loss. It's the loss of a future together. The loss of dreams. The loss of me + you = love.

One of the stages of grief is anger, and anger is something so many of us struggle with as we grieve the end of a relationship. Here are some tips for getting through the anger part of a breakup.

Talk about your feelings with people you can trust who will understand. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to feel mixed up inside - especially if the breakup was unexpected or was triggered by a particular event. So let it out.

Break something, like plates, somewhere safe. When you're full of anger, you've got to get it out. Go to the thrift store, buy some cheap dishes or glasses, and find a safe place to throw them. It's hugely satisfying and allows you to get that anger out safely.

Make a mix playlist on your iPod of some good angry breakup songs and listen to it whenever you're feeling angry. I suggest taking a nice long drive while listening to your break-up mix. It helps.

Don't get revenge. You may think that revenge is a great idea, especially if your (now) ex ended things badly (such as by cheating on you). It's not. While it may make you feel better to plan some revenge, don't act on it - you don't want to look childish and stupid.

Retrain yourself away from thinking about your ex. It's hard at first, but every time he (or she) pops into your head, think about a purple monkey. Or an elephant. Anything but your ex.

Scream. Into a pillow or in the middle of the woods - anywhere that your neighbors won't call the police on you. It helps to get some of that rage out in a safe way.

What are YOUR tips for getting over the anger stage of a breakup?

 

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