You guys remember LeeLee Sobieski? I have no idea what she's been up to since she was in Deep Impact and that made for TV movie, Joan of Arc, but apparently, she's still being interviewed. The 28-year-old actress attended the premiere of 5 Year Engagement and spilled her rambling thoughts on engagement rings versus wedding bands to New York Magazine.
I know I know I know. Don't tell me. You couldn't care less what LeeLee thinks, right? I get it. But hear me out. Let's review what she has to say, then discuss, mmk? By the way, hope you don't hate the word "rock." You'll see what I mean.
It’s a strange thing that before you marry that it’s a custom to give a girl a rock. When you’re married, you should get the rock, and when you get engaged, you should get a simple band. It just seems like the engagement is weaker, so it should be the band, and when you get to the wedding, that’s the rock. It should be the reverse with the rings. People break up their engagements all the time, and then the guy loses the rock. It’s not fair to the man. The woman should stick it through to the end to get the rock. Of course, the real prize is the love.
In case you lost count, she said "rock" five times.
Anyway! I hear what LeeLee's saying ... maybe the more important piece of jewelry should come during the most important moment in the relationship (the wedding) but by no means should it be used as an incentive. We're not leading a mule to a carrot here -- you're not supposed to want to get hitched just so you can get a big diamond or, excuse me, rock.
I'm not a big fan of traditional jewelry, so I say mix it up on every level. No need to adhere to any sort of rules when getting engaged or married, if you ask me. Propose with an onion ring for all I care and marry me with a Fruit Loop -- as long as it's unique, I'd be happy.
Which is to say, speak up about what you want. I should hope you've had some deep conversations about the future of your relationship before you decide to tie the knot, and I think it's more than fair during those talks to express your opinion on engagement and bridal jewelry.
You don't have to be demanding or nasty about it, just say what you have in mind and see if you can't come to an agreement. You want a band first and a, oh god, rock later? Awesome! You want a ruby set in yellow gold first and a diamond band later? You go. You want to forgo rings all together and put the money toward a honeymoon? More power to you.
Talk it out. Because if you can't agree on what your symbol of "eternal love" will be before you get married, you got bigger problems.
Did you and your spouse discuss your rings beforehand?
Photo via david shankbone/Flickr