The Turn-Off That's Keeping Too Many Women From Having Great Sex

Health Check 8

woman anxious in bedThe stereotypical excuse of "Honey, I have a headache"? Ha! That's the least of most ladies' issues when it comes to getting turned-on. We all have different reasons that prohibit us from making time for lovemaking, but there's one HUGE issue many women have on a recurring basis. Now, research has even proven it.

Some sexy researchers in the Netherlands had their straight female subjects check out some good old-fashioned porn. And they found that our brains are so focused on the fact that we're aroused that they start ignoring all the little details of what we're looking at. Maybe kinda like how you start defaulting to that speed-reading method you learned in grade school while reading Fifty Shades of Grey? So you can just absorb the hottest parts?

Anyway, the researchers say that our brains can be either aroused or anxious -- but not both. And the porn study shows why the more anxiety we have, the harder it is for us to get aroused -- because our brains are so distracted from getting turned-on in the first place. Makes so much sense! No wonder women with low levels of sexual desire also often happen to have high levels of anxiety.

It's not like we're anxious necessarily about the actual act of having sex with our long-term partners. But we're on edge about whatever else -- our cellulite, the kids being able to hear us, a big project at work -- and our brains are so wrapped up in that, clearly, it's difficult for it to switch gears and get hot.

The fix? We have to feel secure, safe, decompressed. It sounds so simple, but it's obviously something we underestimate the power of. And failing to address the seemingly "tiny" turn-off of anxiety = less frequent, less satisfying, or altogether nonexistent sex. That's completely unacceptable!

Also, all this science certainly makes an awesome case for using porn to get in the mood with your partner! But erotic "assistance" or not, our partners could stand to remember -- when making a case for getting it on, the first thing they must focus on is getting us to reeeeeeelax.

Have you ever felt like anxiety has gotten in the way of your sex life?


sex, turn-ons, turn-offs

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tonip... toniperoni

ahh so that explains why its once a week if i have to at home  and twice a day on holiday

nonmember avatar Lord K

Haha in the orient, sex is considered a cure for a headache...

kebrowni kebrowni

quite frequently, actually. my brain won't shut down and it's really annoying sometimes.

nonmember avatar Lord K

Probably the "real" reason is many wives think their husbands are disgusting haha.

nonmember avatar Sunnyday

@ toniperoni- my exact thought!!! The study explains a lot then lol

lovin... lovinglife0206

This study does explain a lot and makes so much sense!! Hopefully having this knowledge will help in that area.

RoughGem RoughGem

I must say, in the heat of the moment, it is VERY hard to think about anything else... This does make a lot of sense.

Jessica White

Oh yeah, my man always works really hard to get me relaxed and turned on and in the mood and make me want him before we have sex, and we have sex all the time, almost daily. It helps keep me relaxed and rejuvinated! There is also a lot of touching and kissing during the day at home too. Im blessed and I know it!

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