When Angelina Jolie revealed that she cried at her engagement, legions of people suddenly saw her as human. Because awwww. Am I right? It's so sweet. But crying at an engagement isn't required. And neither (shockingly) is crying at your wedding.
I know plenty of very happy brides who managed to say their vows without bursting into tears. But I wasn't one of them.
The fact is, the way people react to their weddings IS sometimes telling of how their marriage will go.
It isn't always true. Sometimes a person can be happy and in love and emotional on their wedding day and their marriage can still end, and sometimes they can be emotional because they are actually questioning their marriage and they can pass those tears off as happy tears.
It isn't a litmus test by any means. But it does say something.
I remember the day I married my husband (nine years ago), I was shocked by how much the vows moved me. I am an emotional person, but I am not one who cries in public. Ever. So I was shocked at how I choked up. And then my husband did the same.
It was moving and they WERE happy tears. I felt each word and I felt the enormity of sickness and health and forever. I felt our hands were joined literally in the moment and figuratively for life. It was so moving.
It isn't that everyone must cry to feel that. But not being moved at one's wedding is a little bit of a red flag. Emotion can't be judged, of course.
There are people who laugh at funerals or who get scared when they are excited. Emotions get mixed up. But sometimes fear or numbness is sending a message. Personally, if I HADN'T been moved (crying or not), I would have been worried about my marriage. So yes, crying at a wedding sort of does matter.
When I see a crying bride or groom, I know they feel -- and mean -- what they are saying.
Do you think crying at weddings matters?
Image via Caitlinator/Flickr
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Comments 16
I cry at EVERY wedding, including my own. My Grandmother thought they were questioning tears, but they weren't. I just get chocked up! I cried pretty much the whole way through, so sadly I am red and splochy in a lot of my wedding photos. Two years after my wedding, two of my best friends got married and I was crying as usual, and the groom turned around, looked at me, smiled and shook his head. I don't know if it was loud blubbering or silent tears, but I can't help it!
I cry at all weddings! However, i don't remember crying at my first wedding, except when my stepdad walked me down the aisle and was about in tears himself- he was NOT an emotional guy at all, either. I didn't cry during the vows, and I divorced that guy. Huh.
I did tear up at my second wedding, on the beach in Key West. Hubby did too, a little bit! Still married!
In the middle of me and my husbands vows I nearly died from laughter. I'm guessing it was the nerves and the way the judge sounded like someone from Gone with the wind. But I almost didn't hold my composure at all.
I don't think it matters. I've cried at very few weddings. Tears are just not normally how I express happiness. I didn't cry during my own wedding. But I sure couldn't wipe the big stupid grin off my face. :-)
I didn't cry when my son was born either. I just laughed like a maniac and kept saying "Hi baby! Hi baby! Hi baby!" when they laid him on my chest after he was born.
I worked really hard at my wedding not to cry, because I didn't want to become a snotty mess and have my makeup all ruined, and have a stuffy nose the rest of the night. I'm usually an emotional person, but I was able to hold it together.
All the brides or grooms I've seen crying look like they are being lead to their death rather than their happy future!
I didn't cry when my son was born either. I just laughed like a maniac and kept saying "Hi baby! Hi baby! Hi baby!" when they laid him on my chest after he was born.
OMG Melissa that made me laugh out loud, for real. I can just picture it. HA HA.
I cried like a big ole baby at my wedding, and everyone else's too. It start with daddy walking down the aisle. I am never, ever crying about the current "moment", but overwhelmed by the enormity of the whole situation.