How to Have 'Obligatory Sex' in 10 Easy Steps

LOL 83

It's happened to us all.

You're just sitting there, doing something boring, wearing those ugly stained sweatpants with the threadbare ankles, debating eating the last cupcake or going to bed.

BOOM.

Your partner says those words. Those three words: "Wanna have sex?" And you know it's time. Time for the obligatory sex.

What is obligatory sex, you ask? C'mon. You already know. It's the kind of sex you're required to have because you're married or in a serious relationship and you've promised to be faithful 'til death do you part.

That's a hell of a long time, isn't it?

Read on to see if you're having obligatory sex like the rest of us. (Hint: If these steps leading to sex sound familiar, you probably are.)

Step 1: Frantically pore through your memory banks - DO YOU HAVE A GOOD EXCUSE? No? Onto Step 2.

Step 2: Try to recall the last time you did, in fact, have The Sex with your partner. If it's been over three weeks or you can't remember, proceed to Step 3.

Step 3: Give your partner a deep sigh - throw in an eye roll for effect, if you feel it might help your case. If he doesn't immediately back off, go onto Step 4. 

Step 4: Nod your head and sigh as you begin to walk to your bedroom.

Step 5: While walking through the house into the bedroom with your partner, try to conjure up every sexy image you can think of. Pretend your partner is Jude Law. Whatever you gotta do.

Step 6: If you're still not in the mood, think about Johnny Depp. Better? No? Damn. Onto Step 7.

Step 7: Turn off all lights in the bedroom, saying, "it's sexier this way," as you strip off your clothes. Saves a step later.

Step 8: Climb into bed.

Step 9: Begin having sex with your partner. Try not to look TOO bored. If you can't contain the boredom, try not to panic about whatever's going on on Facebook without you.

Step 10: Fake it or don't - really, up to you. We've all done it - there's no shame.

Do you routinely find yourself having obligatory sex, and do you go through these steps to get there?

 

Image via ToastyKen/Flickr

sex, sex drive

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the4m... the4mutts

Um, no. And nobody should ever, EVER, have obligatory sex. I have done it in the past, and refuse to ever again.

If its been a while, like a month or whatever, try talking to your partner and figuring out why. Don't just spread your legs and lay there like a dead fish.

Only hookers have sex with people they don't nessecarily want to have sex with.

nonmember avatar ChknMoma

This is sad. If it ever got to that point, I'd def want out. I'm nvr getting married, eff it!

Gigan... GigantaursMommy

I've had obligatory sex with my husband and he's done the same for me. Sometimes the intimacy of the situation helps us get over whatever slump we've been in, and if nothing else it sure does feel good obligatory or not.

Amanda Ince-simonsen

Mine is not quite this bad, because I often get in the mood once we get going. It's about getting out of my head for a few minutes so I can think of sexy things.

zandh... zandhmom2

I agree that sometimes sex is the last thing on my mind but if he asks, I will.  Thankfully even if I'm not the one in the mood or the one to suggestion it, once we start I can relax and totally get into it  ~ which is really odd since I'm not a hooker :))))).


 

MsRkg MsRkg

Absolutely not. Just because I'm married doesn't mean hubby get sex whenever he wants. If I'm not in the mood, then I'm not in the mood and he respects that and vice versa. Sometimes one of us is tired and the last thing on our minds is trying to satisfy one another. I know if I'm tired or not in the mood, I'm not at energetic as I usually am and I know, and so does he, that he won't enjoy it as much if I'm just lying there and not participating like I usually do. Hubby and I have very active sex life, but sometimes one of just don't want to do it and its ok. I know he's not going to run off to another woman or anything. I feel like if you're having obligatory sex some part of you, deep down or subconsciously, is insecure about your relationship and thinking if I don't give it to him every time when he wants it, he's going to go looking for someone else. That's just my opinion on it.

the4m... the4mutts

Zandhmom- IMO, if you get into it once you get started, that's an obligatory ATTEMPT, not obligatory sex.

I may be willing to try if I'm not yet in the mood, but if he gets worked up, and I don't, well, I'm going to sleep, and he can go take a cold shower.

MsRkg- I agree with you. If you feel that you have to, then your relationship is having issues one way or the other.

Which is why I refuse to do it. I will not get all sexed up, by someone when I'm having issues with them. I will talk it out.

If you're having repeated obligatory sex, chances are, you will come to resent your sex life.

LilTy... LilTymomma

well,... I have a situation where I cant reach climax because of a side effect on a prescription. so now is just like whatever. Sad to say. At least im glad he wants me.

nonmember avatar Cookie

Happens all the time! Get over it other women on here and help your husband out once in a while. I'm sure he would appreciate it. And the first comment is ridiculous. Very derogatory towards other women. Self richeous much?

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