I will never forget when I was about two weeks postpartum with my first baby. My husband, a previously loving and wonderful man who supported me through my labor and pregnancy, told me I was gorgeous (I wasn't), and held me while I threw up, came into the room and asked one question: "When can we have sex again?" Say what, dude?!
Two weeks after a baby, when my body still resembled hot cookie dough (only lumpier) and my vagina was, um, sore, the LAST thing on my mind was sex. My husband, on the other hand, clearly had other priorities.
It isn't that he is some kind of jerk, either. Men think about sex. Even Tori Spelling said the reason she fell pregnant again so soon after her last was a desire to not let her husband think their sex life was dead. But the truth is, any man who would make a woman feel bad about their sex life a few weeks after birth isn't a good hubby.
Give a new mom a break! Now, Tori didn't say her husband was pressuring her, so I am not calling him a jerk, but I do have friends who said their husbands said things like: "Come on, can you at least give me a blow job?"
Because, yeah. The FIRST thing we new moms want to do after getting no sleep, no time for ourselves, no nutrition, and feeling fat with our nipples raw is to go down on a man. Am I right or am I right?
I am the first to say that women shouldn't let the sex go out of a marriage. Couples that have sex once a month or less are missing the intimacy sexuality brings to the table and, in many ways, harming their marriage. But TWO WEEKS, people?!
In my own case, my husband understood and once we had the doctor's OK, we resumed our healthy sex life a couple weeks later. But those husbands who are pushing for sex need to take a chill pill. Down boys!
Seriously, it's just selfish to add more pressure to a new mom's life. It's not that the sex will never happen. Just have some patience! Good things come to those who wait.
Was your husband chomping at the bit for sex soon after baby?
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