Only a Selfish Husband Would Pressure a New Mom Into Sex

I will never forget when I was about two weeks postpartum with my first baby. My husband, a previously loving and wonderful man who supported me through my labor and pregnancy, told me I was gorgeous (I wasn't), and held me while I threw up, came into the room and asked one question: "When can we have sex again?" Say what, dude?!

Two weeks after a baby, when my body still resembled hot cookie dough (only lumpier) and my vagina was, um, sore, the LAST thing on my mind was sex. My husband, on the other hand, clearly had other priorities.

It isn't that he is some kind of jerk, either. Men think about sex. Even Tori Spelling said the reason she fell pregnant again so soon after her last was a desire to not let her husband think their sex life was dead. But the truth is, any man who would make a woman feel bad about their sex life a few weeks after birth isn't a good hubby.

Give a new mom a break! Now, Tori didn't say her husband was pressuring her, so I am not calling him a jerk, but I do have friends who said their husbands said things like: "Come on, can you at least give me a blow job?"

Because, yeah. The FIRST thing we new moms want to do after getting no sleep, no time for ourselves, no nutrition, and feeling fat with our nipples raw is to go down on a man. Am I right or am I right?

I am the first to say that women shouldn't let the sex go out of a marriage. Couples that have sex once a month or less are missing the intimacy sexuality brings to the table and, in many ways, harming their marriage. But TWO WEEKS, people?!

In my own case, my husband understood and once we had the doctor's OK, we resumed our healthy sex life a couple weeks later. But those husbands who are pushing for sex need to take a chill pill. Down boys!

Seriously, it's just selfish to add more pressure to a new mom's life. It's not that the sex will never happen. Just have some patience! Good things come to those who wait.

Was your husband chomping at the bit for sex soon after baby?


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Miche... Michelephant

I think after two weeks it is perfectly reasonable for a husband to ask if they can have sex again.  All the man did was ask!  A lot of couples aren't having consistant sex because of the pregancy. So if you haven't been doing it very often for 7-9 months then I don't see why it is such a selfish thing for a man to ask.  And for those women who wont take the 10 mins to give their guy a blow job to help him out: how many times did he rub your pregnant feet, pat you on the back and hold your hair back when you were sick, run out to a cvs at 4am because you had a craving and delt with any hormonal outbursts because of your pregancy?  If he can be at your beck and call for 9mos then why not take the 10 mins and let him know that you are still interested in him sexually and do him a favor?


I agree with Michelephant. 

miche... micheledo

My husband has never said a word to me.  But I still feel bad.  With 'morning' sickness the entire 9 months, there isn't a lot of sex going on during the pregnancy.

graci... graciesmom62708

My husband was lucky we had sex after the doctor gave the green light at the six week checkup. Two weeks??? Not a chance in hell!

mindi... mindiemoore

I agree with Michelephant!

Kimbyann Kimbyann

Agree with michelephant.

jessi... jessicasmom1

everyone is different I only got sick 3 times my whole pregnacy .. I was so ready to make love to my husband when the next chance came by.

bluey... blueyedalls

Maybe they are seeing their wife in a different light and fell more in love with her again after she gave birth to their child. A child can have the effect of bringing a couple closer together. He may be having swelling feeling of love and effection and sexual desire goes along with that. It does not make him a pig it makes him a man.

shygu... shygurl3166

I seriously disagree with this. Sex is a healthy part of a normal marriage. I'm sure some men are real ass holes about to but a husband asking his wife to have sex is not pressure. This is just so hateful towards men. My husband asked me to have sex before I was ready after both my boys, we did. Why? Because despite the fact I felt like a looked like a bowl of tapioca, I was still sore, and exhausted... I LOVE him. It wasn't a sacrifice or a burden... Or a favor. It was a wife, giving her husband what he needed.

Kate Cooley

Why is it unreasonable for a guy to wonder about sex? It's an important tool of intimacy in a marriage and maybe it was his way of asking "so, you're doing all-right? Everything OK?" and proof that he stil desires his wife even post-expelling-a-football-from-her-hoohah. All she needs to say is "honey, I'm still recovering. Can you give me a few days/whatever?" Or even "Let's ask the doctor!" Frankly, that first week post-birth, you're still expelling all kinds of things and the doctor doesn't want ANYTHING going on down there. And frankly, a blow job isn't really much for a guy to ask. It's a way for the woman to be a little more active in their lovemaking routine instead of making him do all the work. That way, he'd know he wasn't being shunted aside now that his job is done and there's a baby. I've seen that too many times to count - once the baby arrives, the big rolling gate gets pulled down on the sex life and that's it.

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