Wedding Night Sex Isn't All It's Cracked Up to Be

LOL 27

wedding nightAre there really couples out there who have over-the-top, crazy, out-of-control, earth-moving sex on their wedding night? If there are, then they definitely aren't the norm. Because pretty much every married friend I've ever talked to about this subject agrees that wedding night sex totally sucks.

And honestly, should we really have an expectation for it to be good in the first place? It's cliche. It's planned and not spontaneous at all. It's sex for the sake of having sex because everyone expects you to have sex after the wedding reception ends. And somehow, knowing that you are going to leave the party, and then go back to your home or hotel room or wherever and inevitably have sex just takes all the fun out of it. It almost becomes a chore, especially after eating, drinking, and dancing the night away.

I won't lie, I got a little bit drunk at my own wedding almost nine years ago. (Ok, I was trashed.)

I laugh every single time I look at pictures from our reception because I have a glass of wine in my hand in almost every single photo. And while I can't recall too many details about what went on when my husband and I got back to our bungalow suite on the beach that night, I do remember having one thing in the forefront of my brain. I couldn't wait to get back to our room, because I had a to-go box containing a couple extra slices of our beyond delicious key lime wedding cake. That's right -- I wanted to get my sweet fix on more than I wanted to "get it on." (It really was incredible. I still dream about that cake.)

There's plenty of time for fun, spur of the moment, hot and steamy sex on the honeymoon, so couples shouldn't put too much pressure on themselves to go crazy in the bedroom on their actual wedding night. Why get all worked up over something that has a very slim chance of being mind-blowing anyway?

Was your wedding night all that you anticipated it to be? Or were you and your groom way too tired for sex?


Image via jljohnstone/Flickr

sex, weddings, marriage


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Melis... Melissa042807

The sex we had on our wedding night was by far NOT the best sex we've ever had, but we didn't expect it to be. For us, that night was more about just relaxing and spending quiet private time together (snuggling on the giant down-pillow-covered bed and utilizing the huge bathtub and eating snacks from the minibar!) after all the craziness of the past few months. That was the expectation we set up in our minds, so therefore, it was a great wedding night. :-) 

Courtney Packard

I have to disagree with this post only because when I had sex on my wedding night, it was the first time both us had sex PERIOD. So that made it wonderful on that basis alone. But wedding night sex is SUPER awkward PERIOD just because everyone knows what you're doing. And the fact that my mom KNEW I was having sex that night totally creeped out. That, and it was in my crappy little hometown and I was not pleased with losing my virginity there! ha ha

mama_... mama_rayray31

we didn't =\  we were too busy and tired after the long day.

momof... momof2gingers

I had sex in the hot tub at the hotel on my wedding night. *grins* good times

nonmember avatar guest

Our wedding was four days long, a traditional Cambodian wedding... so by the time the "wedding night" rolled by I were dead tired. Having to get up by 3am every morning and so many bridal costume changes. I had 18 different beautiful outfits that was a horror to wear and move in. And so much to do during the different cermonies, that we had to sneak bites of food throughout the days. On our wedding night, the very last night, I was sent up to the bridal suite to wait for the groom. While he was downstairs partying and drinking. I just climb onto the bed and slept. I woke up to my groom throwing up in the bathroom. He came up when I was asleep. So I spent my special night cleaning and scrubbing the toilet since I can not stand the smell of vomit. I left the groom sleeping on the floor next to the bed. When he tried to get on, I kicked him off, twice. He was too drunk to even notice. In the morning, I woke up my new hubby by yelling in his ears and talking non stop about the silliest things in a really loud voice. He literally tried to run away from me and hide. Oh, the memories. We've been married eight fun filled years.

miche... micheledo

It was the first time for both of us - not too tired at all!  :)  We had fun!  We stayed at our new home that first night, which I thought was pretty special.  Definitely not the BEST sex we have ever had, but pretty special.

kat4jc kat4jc

I started my period on the drive from the wedding to the hotel. =( But I think the hype is more based on virgins losing it to each other for the first time. In our society, that just isn't a standard occurrence anymore.

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

We couldn't find our hotel. For some bizarre reason our so-called airport hotel was actually about eight miles from the airport. We didn't have a cell phone so we stopped at a hotel that actually was at the airport to use the pay phone and got directions. By the time we got there it was past midnight and we had been going since 7am so we just conked out. We did get busy the next morning before leaving the hotel though so I guess that sort of counts.

ZeeRo ZeeRo

There's sex on the wedding night? Someone should have told my husband, lol.

We came home from our (small) reception, got changed, went out and partied with friends. We got home sometime after midnight, fairly trashed. Hubby fell asleep on the floor in front of the sofa. I, not wanting to leave him on our wedding night, curled up on the sofa and went to sleep. I awoke around 4am to find myself alone. He'd woken up and gone to bed, without me!

Needless to say, I have never let him forget it!


MomaL... MomaLlama

We had a small outdoor wedding and the small Mountain Church that graciously agreed to let us use their lawn mowed the grass for us the day before the wedding.  My (now) husband got up early the day of the wedding and raked up the loose grass. (We won't talk about how his best man hung out on the couch at my in-laws house while my hubby raked all by himself)  Half-way though our reception I noticed my husband seemed a little sick, but he said he was fine.  Later, on the way to the hotel we stopped so he could pick up some allergy medication.  He still didn't seem that sick.  Well, let me tell you it is not a good feeling to wake up at 2am on your wedding night compeleatly alone.  It kind of freaked me out, for a brief second I thought "Oh no, he realized this was a mistake and he bailled"  I ended up finding him int he bathroom sitting in the shower hawking phlem down the drain.  he had gotten some sort of hayfeaver.  That was most of the excitment from my wedding night

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