While wedding planning has clearly become my second job (as far as a few people in my life seem to think, at least) in the past few weeks since my S.O. and I have gone from BF/GF to F/F, it turns out there are couples who get engaged and don't jump right into picking a date or checking out venues! They get engaged and ... chill. Like Matthew McConaughey and his longtime love, Brazilian model Camila Alves.
After spending over six years together, becoming homeowners and parents together (to kids Levi, who turns 4 in July, and Vida, 2), and generally taking their time getting to the whole "'til death do us part" bit, they finally got engaged in December. And when asked if she feels marriage will change their relationship, Camila had a wise response ...
She told ET Canada:
We've built a life together. So we've been living a married life this whole time ... . A lot of people, sometimes they're so stuck on 'I gotta get married, I gotta get married.' They forget that the really important thing ... is to have a healthy home, a healthy family, a healthy environment for your kids and to have everything going in a good, peaceful way.
I hear that! Even though I totally fit her description of someone stuck on feeling antsy about getting married, I always reminded myself that the most important thing was having a happy, healthy, loving home and life together. Marriage would come in time. Now, while I'm thrilled to be moving forward in an "official" way, it's not as though we (like Matt and Camila) hadn't already been living a "married life." So we don't need to get married to validate our relationship. It's just that making it official with our religion and government is the icing on the cake.
What I think Camila means is that at least for her -- and many couples today -- getting wed isn't the be all and end all that it used to be. Especially for couples who are becoming homeowners, parents, etc. before saying "I do." Instead, it's (as my mom eloquently put it) the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. And we're all allowed to let those chapters play out in whichever order we see fit.
Here's a cute report on the couple's Christmas engagement ...
Do you agree that getting married isn't as important as it used to be -- it's just the icing on the cake of an already happy life together?
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Comments 8
That's the mindset of my boyfriend and I. There's more important priorities for us than tying the knot. A healthy, happy, loving home to raise our blended family together. We are building our life together without the marriage document.
I disagree that if a man really wants to get married that he doesnt wait. There are a LOT of things to think about when proposing. A lot of guys want to have the perfect ring and the perfect proposal planned and will not propose until they do. Also, many men want to be at a certain place in their life career and financial wise. I think it actually says more when a man waits for the right time to propose even though he may have known for a long time that he wanted to. These 2 are too cute and I don't think marriage will change anything but it will be awesome for their kids.
But, I must add, to each their own.
I come from a different culture, in Quebec, Canada where the majority of couples don't get married (I think it is 60% who are not). Sometimes they do later in life like in the story here, sometimes never. From where I come, my parents' generation have "freed" themself from religion. Deciding when and how we get married now is pretty much a result of the past generation. Some of my friends did marry at a young age. It's really a personal choice and it's fine. We don't think one is better than the other. As long as the couple is comfortable with its decision. I've been with my boyfriend for 11 years and we have 2 kids of 6 and 2. We plan to get married but it is not just a top priority.
I know there is a legal aspect. Common-law union and marriage is a little different (not so much though in Qc) but it means for me and my spouse that we have in writing a few things to make it fair in case the worst happens.