Wacky New Wedding Trend Will Have Couples Kicking Themselves Someday

Say What!? 22

couple elopingWedding trends come and go. You can look at a wedding photo from 1978 and know they probably did certain dances -- "The Hustle," anyone? -- or had huge wedding gowns with poofy sleeves and matching hair. Might be embarrassing for those brides now, but it's okay, they were just doing what was popular at the time. But when brides latching onto a hot 2012 trend look back at what they did, they probably shouldn't feel like it's okay. They should feel like damn FOOLS.

What I'm talking about is a new phenomenon known as "elaborate elopements," which The New York Times recently explored in great detail. Basically, couples are spending upwards of $100K to get married ... all by themselves! Because they believe they deserve to experience their Big Day in a big way -- without having to please other people, like, you know, family or friends.

Wow, let's try to wrap our heads around this.

Maybe I can relate ... After all, less than a month into planning my fiance's and my own Big Day, I am in the middle of wanting to strangle various family members who have already been insisting on making our wedding all about them. So, to a great extent, I feel these brides' and grooms' pain. They're thinking they have to spend the money to get married anyway -- why not do it up exactly the way they want to, wherever the hell they want to?

But wait, no! An "elaborate elopement" really is an asinine idea! Because, come on, first of all, hasn't the point of eloping always been to escape pressure to spend $175 on CHICKEN in an attempt to, yes, celebrate with, but also impress friends and family?? Doesn't it sort of defeat the purpose of saving when you're running away to ... well, spend? What's more, as Jezebel points out, it seems like the real impetus behind these pricey elopements has more to do with brides looking to spend their wedding dough to ... drum roll, please ... show off via social media! YES, you read that right. These brides just want to spend loads of dough on photography, so they can end up on high-end wedding blogs or get "liked" all over Pinterest and Facebook. As one bride put it, her big day was basically a "glorified photo shoot for the two of us." Uh ... whaaa??? Crazy!

It all just seems ... pointless and furthermore, soul-less. Yeah, a wedding is ultimately just about the bride and the groom and their love for one another and their vow, yada yada. But what's the point of dressing up and taking beautiful pictures if no one else you love is there to see it? To support you? To cheer you on? Isn't it just sad and superficial to throw money at a "glorified photo shoot" versus, oh, I don't know, dancing the night away with dear friends or being walked down the aisle by your dad?

Well, to each their own, but I have a feeling the couples who cough up tens of thousands of dollars to spend their wedding day all by themselves will probably come to regret it sooner or later.

Do you think "elaborate eloping" sounds totally crazy or actually kind of smart?


weddings, marriage, love, in the news

22 Comments

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Katal... Katalina650

I eloped to avoid the drama.  It was great.  We didn't spend thousand and thousands, but it was nice to just go and do what we wanted. 

nonmember avatar Amanda

I am an event planner. I have done $250k weddings. I love big events. I love entertaining. That said, I eloped. I did it my way and loved every moment. No stress, no worries.

nonmember avatar Emme

Well, I like the idea of eloping. Why spend your big day catering to and entertaining your guests? And an elaborate elopement sounds kind of nice. After all, who said eloping always has to be quick and cheap? I think any couple that wants to celebrate the beginning of their marriage by lavishing themselves in what they want, they should go for it - it's about them, after all.

Though, as a general statement, I don't think any couple that isn't the top 1% of America should be spending anywhere close to 100k on a wedding. It's just ridiculous to go into debt over a single day.

I didn't elope, but my husband and I didn't spend very much on our wedding anyway. We had donated the money we were planning on spending on our wedding to the relief effort in Japan and then just had a simple ceremony and had a luncheon at a nearby restaurant with all the guests. It was absolutely lovely because we had everything we needed to make the day perfect - no ice sculptures or chocolate fountains necessary. :)

wonro... wonroseshy

I think this kind of eloping is absolutely ABSURD and SELFISH.  I can understand trying to avoid the stress wedding plans bring or  avoid the huge price tag, why in the world would you want to have a high class wedding withour your family and friends?  It makes no sense!  How terrible their loved ones must feel when they get announcements about a wedding they are NOT invited to.  What an utter waste of money.  

Sara DeVooght Waldecker

Oh how I wish I had bought the dress, photos, hair, makeup, and eloped anyway! Soooo much family drama over one stupid day. I don't see how you could spend that much on yourself, but more power to them for avoiding the family drama!

Elise48 Elise48

I think a lot of people have lost sight of what a wedding, and especially the reception part of it, really is. The main purpose of a wedding is NOT to show off, impress your friends/family, or introduce them to who you really are (if they don't already know your personality maybe they don't need to be at your wedding). It's ridiculous to spend $100K on a wedding no matter how many people you have there.

PonyC... PonyChaser

I had the big, froofy wedding. The poofy skirt, the big poof on the veil, the massive bows on the back of my 6 bridesmaids' butts. But we wanted to elope. We wanted to just take our immediate families (mom, dad, bro, sis, spouses) and our maid of honor & best man with us and get married, then come back and have a picnic/reception. We were told, in no uncertain terms, that we would NOT do that, because it was selfish, and where we'd chosen to go, there might not be a Catholic priest.


Well, we ended up having the massive wedding, spending thousands, and didn't have the Catholic Priest anyway, because at the time, we were between living places and didn't have a church.


If I had it to do again, I'd either elope and take simple pics, or I'd have a big picnic/pot-luck. It's about the commitment, not about the party. Those who are having big weddings just to look good are, in my opinion, incredibly selfish and narcissistic.

amy3807 amy3807

I don't see anything wrong with this so-called 'trend'.  I am not yet married, but have always imagined my dream wedding would be eloping somewhere warm and beautiful, with only my man by my side.. Without having to worry about entertaining family and friends. I want my wedding to be about him and I. No one else.. I've seen so many weddings where the newly-wed's are together during the vows, and apart the rest of the evening, entertaining guests and mingling.  That is NOT ideal for me, and I would resent it. 


That being said, spending $100k+ on a wedding sounds outrageous, and I would / could never do that.  But u know what? If u got the $$, and are comfortable with that, then go ahead and enjoy it.  To each their own.  Life the way you want, and not to please others.  <3 Have a great day ladies!

the4m... the4mutts

I think it IS selfish. In the best way! Its YOUR wedding, its YOUR money, you should be able to do it all in any way that makes you happy!

Who said weddings always surround you with people who care? Sometimes, its just the opposite. People looking for a free party, who couldn't care less, and ruin your day by being drunken assholes. Or family members...? Don't even get me started.

Selfish has such a negative connotation to it. But its not always negative!

Mothers can be selfish by ditching their kids for a day/weekend and pampering themselves. We glorify that action here on thestir. Why is this worse? I don't think it is.

Loref... Lorefield

Yea, I think people ARE entitled to have their big day without catering to family and friends. Since when are people actually obligated to give you a crappy buffet in order to get hitched?


The nice thing is, for those petty, petty people among us, is that if they elope, you don't have to buy them a gift! Bonus!


I don't think that anyone should be made to feel foolish about how they decide to begin the very life changing journey of marriage. How judgemental!

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