How to Get Over a Cheating Ex

Love & Learn 25

Your very biggest fears were realized: Your partner was cheating on you. You're devastated, broken-hearted, betrayed, and wondering if you'll ever feel normal again. Being cheated on is one of the hardest things to get over. That feeling of betrayal by someone who was supposed to love you is one of the most hurtful, earth-shattering revelations. 

Will you ever feel better? Can you get over a cheating ex?

Yes. You can, and you will. Here's how.

One of the first emotions anyone who has been cheated on feels is this: "What did I do wrong?" There's a strong feeling that the reason you've been cheated on is somehow your fault -- you didn't have sex enough, you nagged too often, you aren't pretty enough. Whatever it is you're feeling, STOP. Being cheated upon is not, never has been, and never will be your fault. It is the fault of the partner who has been unfaithful. 

Lean on friends and family for support. If your tendency is to withdraw, push yourself to allow others to comfort you and listen to you while you talk. It's very therapeutic to be reminded that while your ex betrayed you, there are so many others who love you.

Mourning the loss of the relationship and getting over that strong feeling of betrayal may be the hardest -- and longest -- part of getting over a cheating ex. Everyone goes through this phase differently. Some withdraw into themselves, others party it up with friends. However you mourn, it's okay and it's normal. Even though your partner has now become the asshole who cheated, there were good parts of the relationship too. Mourning the relationship ends when you accept that it's over.

Avoid places that remind you of your ex while you're grieving -- don't frequent the same haunts that you two did together. Also avoid listening to music that reminds you of him (or her). Steer clear of all of those reminders until you're ready to move on.

Don't try to heal your heart by diving into another relationship. Sure, it's tempting to be all, "I don't need YOU because I found someone else!" But it doesn't work that way. You have to actually GET OVER your ex before moving on. You won't be giving your new partner the attention he or she deserves, and in the end, you'll do more harm than good.

Time will heal your wounds, and while you may never be fully "over it," you will be able to accept the loss of your relationship and the betrayal you feel and start fresh with someone new. Getting over a cheating ex generally ends in forgiveness -- forgiving your ex for cheating and forgiving yourself for all of the guilt and self-blame you may feel after the breakup. 

What other advice can you give for getting over a cheating ex?


Image via sweethaa/Flickr

cheating, commitment, dating, divorce, lying


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nonmember avatar blh

Have sex with their best friend. It made me feel better.

Katriena Young

How are you suppose to get over haveing the last 2 guys you date doing this to you?

nonmember avatar Phillip

If it was the other way around the title of the article would have read. "Cheated on your husband? 9 Reasons it was his fault you did.

Madbug21 Madbug21

Ok, having this issue at the moment. After being in denial for almost three years, i finally filed for divorce however, i am stuck with having to be around him alot because of our three year old. (yes that means he has cheated since she was born). If i send him messages he is short with me but if I am quiet and leave him be he freaks out and says he loves me etc. What are some fool proof ways to get over this for sure...cant go out as i have her all the time pretty much. Not into dating yet. now what? HELP :(

nonmember avatar heh

Forgive your ex for cheating on you? Do you even know what you are writing about? If you can forgive them, that means it wasn't much of a big deal! Something like that can NEVER be forgiven. If anyone here is using this to get advice, ignore it. Be angry with them, never forgive them and you will then feel nothing for them but pity. For you to forgive is to say it's okay, but it isn't. You are just lying to yourself and helping the cheater feel no guilt.

nonmember avatar selena

Never ever will forget how that twatface did me!!! I pray he burn in hell!! Lil boosie the rapper who i call teacake my boo!!!! My ex jealous as hell of him writting me again so two could play that game but i won b------ lol!!!!!!

nonmember avatar stephanie

Brian m utterback is an asshole cheater in arlington tx.

nonmember avatar Martin n Honey

In May 2010, my ex boyfriend Martin suddenly was picking fights, became very distant, avoiding me, lying about his business trips. He insisted to break up with me over text messages. I will skip the nasty details here. Later on I found out he had met a woman named Honey, weeks before he tried so hard to dump me. They got married one year after, and she was pregnant straight away after a wedding trip they won from Four Seasons Wedding expo competition to Bali. (Martin loves money more than anything else in the world so a free honeymoon must have made him over the moon lmao). They now have a baby girl together named Xxx. Martin did me wrong. He has caused enormous pain and loss in my life. I ran into Martin downstairs at my apartment building months ago one day on my way home from work.

nonmember avatar Martinandhoney

After all these years of avoiding me, it was a movie like closure that he delivered himself to my door.

He couldn't face me.

He saw me from a distance, immediately stopped walking, turned around to face the wall of my building, pretending he didn't see me.

Let's just say, the dickhead looks like he has aged at least 10 years and looks really shit.

I called his name, he turned around and looked at me with fearful eyes. That spilt second, I realised I really got no feeling whatsoever for this trash bag anymore. I didn't say or do anything else, pulled out my swipe card and entered the building.

For the sake of their baby girl, I hope Martin and Honey have a healthy marriage. Honey looks like the kind of idiot figure Martin prefers. On that note, yes I have forgiven him.

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