How to Get Over a Cheating Ex

Love & Learn 25

Your very biggest fears were realized: Your partner was cheating on you. You're devastated, broken-hearted, betrayed, and wondering if you'll ever feel normal again. Being cheated on is one of the hardest things to get over. That feeling of betrayal by someone who was supposed to love you is one of the most hurtful, earth-shattering revelations. 

Will you ever feel better? Can you get over a cheating ex?

Yes. You can, and you will. Here's how.

One of the first emotions anyone who has been cheated on feels is this: "What did I do wrong?" There's a strong feeling that the reason you've been cheated on is somehow your fault -- you didn't have sex enough, you nagged too often, you aren't pretty enough. Whatever it is you're feeling, STOP. Being cheated upon is not, never has been, and never will be your fault. It is the fault of the partner who has been unfaithful. 

Lean on friends and family for support. If your tendency is to withdraw, push yourself to allow others to comfort you and listen to you while you talk. It's very therapeutic to be reminded that while your ex betrayed you, there are so many others who love you.

Mourning the loss of the relationship and getting over that strong feeling of betrayal may be the hardest -- and longest -- part of getting over a cheating ex. Everyone goes through this phase differently. Some withdraw into themselves, others party it up with friends. However you mourn, it's okay and it's normal. Even though your partner has now become the asshole who cheated, there were good parts of the relationship too. Mourning the relationship ends when you accept that it's over.

Avoid places that remind you of your ex while you're grieving -- don't frequent the same haunts that you two did together. Also avoid listening to music that reminds you of him (or her). Steer clear of all of those reminders until you're ready to move on.

Don't try to heal your heart by diving into another relationship. Sure, it's tempting to be all, "I don't need YOU because I found someone else!" But it doesn't work that way. You have to actually GET OVER your ex before moving on. You won't be giving your new partner the attention he or she deserves, and in the end, you'll do more harm than good.

Time will heal your wounds, and while you may never be fully "over it," you will be able to accept the loss of your relationship and the betrayal you feel and start fresh with someone new. Getting over a cheating ex generally ends in forgiveness -- forgiving your ex for cheating and forgiving yourself for all of the guilt and self-blame you may feel after the breakup. 

What other advice can you give for getting over a cheating ex?

 

Image via sweethaa/Flickr

cheating, commitment, dating, divorce, lying