The 5 Worst Love Songs of All Time

Eye Roll 37

I may not be the most romantic person on the planet. But I'll admit that when I hear a good love song, I get a little teary. That may be allergies, though - not sure.

But for every great love song, there are 50 bad ones.

Luckily for you, I've compiled a list of the worst love songs so that you can handily avoid them.

1) "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meat Loaf. One of his more iconic songs, this one is both irritating to listen to and leaves the listener wondering, "What IS it that Meatloaf won't do?" I have it on good authority that it's about donuts. He will do anything for love but ... give up donuts. Can't say I blame him. Donuts are delicious.

2) "Afternoon Delight" by Starland Vocal Band. Now, I'm pretty sure this song is about getting busy in the afternoon, but I'm not entirely certain. What I DO know is that this song makes me simultaneously vomit and scratch out my ear drums. What I mean to say is that it's my wedding song.

Just kidding.

3) "Muskrat Love" by Captain & Tennille. Now, I could look past the horrifying sound effects - in fact, I'd give them props for those - but the song actually makes me break out in hives. I mean, the last thing I want to think about is a) muskrats b) having the sex.

4) "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka. Nowhere else can you find a song about how happy a dude is that you're having HIS baby (apparently it's not your baby - just his). It's not only extremely sexist, it's over-the-top corny.

5) "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" by Rupert Holmes. One of the worst tunes in existence, it's for some unknown reason considered a love song. A love song in which the married couple takes out a personal ad looking for new love.

What are some of your picks for the worst love songs ever?


Image via wmbreedveld/Flickr

love, turn-ons, turn-offs


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MsLowrie MsLowrie

I've always liked "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)." and have also had a soft-spot in my heart for "Afternoon Delight" (probably childhood memories from the days when these songs were popular), but I've never been a big fan of the other three.

Kristen Marhoefer

Obviousl that you haven't listened to the Meat Loaf song, because in 5th grade I knew exactly what he wouldn't do:

 After a while you'll forget everything 

It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling

And you'll see that it's time to move on

I won't do that
I won't do that

I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
Sooner or later you'll be screwing around

I won't do that
No, I won't do that

Zyva Zyva

Afternoon delight is hilarious in Arrested Development. 


I think my least favorite love song (Though I adore the song, just as a love song it's silly), is Brandy - Looking Glass.  (Brandy, you're a fine girl, what a good wife you would be, but my life, my lover, my lady is the sea...)

mytwo... mytwobabesandme

Half on a baby by r Kelly is on my list. rofl

Great... Greatdays

"Afternoon Delight" and "The Pina Colada Song" are on my Ipod.  The couple in Pina Colada sure are understanding.  Don't think many couples could survive the fact that each was bored with each other and looking for someone else. 

butte... butterflyfreak

LOL Zyva, that song spawned hundred's of girls named Brandy, of which I am one!


The song I've never understood being a love song was The Police, "I'll Be watching You." If you listen to the lyrics, he's totally singing about stalking her. CREEPY!!

nonmember avatar Stephanie

"My heart Will Go On"

Celine Dion..... UGH!!! O_o it eas WAYYyYyyYy over played!

jesis... jesistar6910

These are the things Meatloaf will NOT do for love:

  • Forget The Way You Feel Right Now

  • Lie To You (And That’s a Fact)

  • Do It Better Than He’ll Do It With You

  • Stop Dreaming Of You Every Night Of His Life

  • Forget Everything

  • See That It’s Time to Move On

  • Screw Around

kelly... kelly24019

Piña colada song is awesome

nonmember avatar Marie

My least favorite "Ben" which was Michael Jackson's love song to a rat.

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