I may not be the most romantic person on the planet. But I'll admit that when I hear a good love song, I get a little teary. That may be allergies, though - not sure.

But for every great love song, there are 50 bad ones.

Luckily for you, I've compiled a list of the worst love songs so that you can handily avoid them.

1) "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)" by Meat Loaf. One of his more iconic songs, this one is both irritating to listen to and leaves the listener wondering, "What IS it that Meatloaf won't do?" I have it on good authority that it's about donuts. He will do anything for love but ... give up donuts. Can't say I blame him. Donuts are delicious.

2) "Afternoon Delight" by Starland Vocal Band. Now, I'm pretty sure this song is about getting busy in the afternoon, but I'm not entirely certain. What I DO know is that this song makes me simultaneously vomit and scratch out my ear drums. What I mean to say is that it's my wedding song.

Just kidding.

3) "Muskrat Love" by Captain & Tennille. Now, I could look past the horrifying sound effects - in fact, I'd give them props for those - but the song actually makes me break out in hives. I mean, the last thing I want to think about is a) muskrats b) having the sex.

4) "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka. Nowhere else can you find a song about how happy a dude is that you're having HIS baby (apparently it's not your baby - just his). It's not only extremely sexist, it's over-the-top corny.

5) "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" by Rupert Holmes. One of the worst tunes in existence, it's for some unknown reason considered a love song. A love song in which the married couple takes out a personal ad looking for new love.

What are some of your picks for the worst love songs ever?

 

Image via wmbreedveld/Flickr