Dating a Mama's Boy? Here's Some Help.
A guy loving his mother? That's a sign of a great guy ... most of the time. Knowing your man loves his mama -- that family is important to him -- is the mark of a true catch. Except when it's not. Sometimes the catch to that great catch? He's a Mama's Boy.
How do you know if you're dating a Mama's Boy? And most importantly, how do you deal with dating a Mama's Boy?
Let's find out.
First, you have to figure out if you've found a real Mama's Boy or just a guy who loves his Mom. There's a very important distinction there.
A true Mama's Boy has never cut the umbilical cord -- he still goes to Mom for any major decisions, like getting a job, or moving across the country. He also goes to her for validation. Also? A Mama's Boy will take his Mom's side no matter what. A Mama's Boy still relies on Good Old Mom for food, cleaning, and laundry ... at age 30!
So what do you do if you're dating a Mama's Boy?
First, determine how healthy the attachment between mother and son is: A healthy attachment would be a relationship based upon respect with some important boundaries in place. Like this: I love my Mom, I talk to her all the time, but she doesn't choose my underwear. An unhealthy relationship between Mom and son would involve a mutual dependence.
If you've determined it's an unhealthy relationship between your guy and his Mom -- and something you don't want to deal with for the rest of your life -- you may want to cut your losses and run for the hills.
If you want to save the relationship, you can try a couple different strategies (don't use anger, pushiness, or aggression -- and don't be judgemental, or you'll likely drive him back into her arms).
Gently suggest that rather than meeting her for Sunday brunch once a week, you do it every other week or once a month (or whatever corollary there is).
A Mama's boy is used to talking to women, so gently bring him your concerns -- "I love that you love your Mom so much, but occasionally, I feel a little jealous about it."
Spend some time with Mom. If you can get her on your side, your relationship may be workable! It can help make you feel like you're connected to the family.
Any other suggestions for dating a Mama's Boy?
Image via the_toe_stubber/Flickr
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