Dating a Mama's Boy? Here's Some Help.

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A guy loving his mother? That's a sign of a great guy ... most of the time. Knowing your man loves his mama -- that family is important to him -- is the mark of a true catch. Except when it's not. Sometimes the catch to that great catch? He's a Mama's Boy.

How do you know if you're dating a Mama's Boy? And most importantly, how do you deal with dating a Mama's Boy?

Let's find out.

First, you have to figure out if you've found a real Mama's Boy or just a guy who loves his Mom. There's a very important distinction there.

A true Mama's Boy has never cut the umbilical cord -- he still goes to Mom for any major decisions, like getting a job, or moving across the country. He also goes to her for validation. Also? A Mama's Boy will take his Mom's side no matter what. A Mama's Boy still relies on Good Old Mom for food, cleaning, and laundry ... at age 30!

Yipes.

So what do you do if you're dating a Mama's Boy?

First, determine how healthy the attachment between mother and son is: A healthy attachment would be a relationship based upon respect with some important boundaries in place. Like this: I love my Mom, I talk to her all the time, but she doesn't choose my underwear. An unhealthy relationship between Mom and son would involve a mutual dependence.

If you've determined it's an unhealthy relationship between your guy and his Mom -- and something you don't want to deal with for the rest of your life -- you may want to cut your losses and run for the hills.

If you want to save the relationship, you can try a couple different strategies (don't use anger, pushiness, or aggression -- and don't be judgemental, or you'll likely drive him back into her arms).

Gently suggest that rather than meeting her for Sunday brunch once a week, you do it every other week or once a month (or whatever corollary there is).

A Mama's boy is used to talking to women, so gently bring him your concerns -- "I love that you love your Mom so much, but occasionally, I feel a little jealous about it."

Spend some time with Mom. If you can get her on your side, your relationship may be workable! It can help make you feel like you're connected to the family.

Any other suggestions for dating a Mama's Boy?

 

Image via the_toe_stubber/Flickr

dating, commitment

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Melis... Melissa042807

My husband is a Recovering Mama's Boy. He still is close with his mom, but nothing like it was when we first got married. She still doesn't see what was wrong with their relationship. But it got to the point where her emotional blackmail and manipulation had led us to make our entire life revolve around HER and I finally just put my food down with my husband and said "I can't live like this and neither can you! You're a nervous wreck about your mom all the time, I'm pissed at your mom all the time, and our marriage is what's suffering here while she's just skipping through fields of daisies all hunky-dory!!!" That (and other things) led to Husband having a real heart-to-heart with his mom about some stuff and things have been better since then. We put up some boundaries and have taken control of our life back.


Not that it means SHE'S changed. In fact, she recently gave us a newspaper article about how it's not a bad thing for guys to be Mama's Boys. 


I intend to burn it. :-) 

orang... orangetree

Run for the hills!

jessa... jessasmamma

my former mother-in-law and my ex's relationship is one HUGE reason our marriage failed. definitely not the only reason, but it was a big problem. the first holiday we all spent together - i was 6 months pregnant and it was christmas. my husband was in the military and had to go to work the day after christmas - i woke up to his mom, sitting directly next to me on my bed, hands folded in her lap, WATCHING ME SLEEP. it creeped me the eff out. he said she was admiring me. but she wasn't looking at me like she was admiring me - she was looking at me like she hated me. i got so uncomfortable in my own house that i left and stayed with my sister until she went home (he refused to ask her to go to a hotel.) seriously - he let his wife, who was 6 months pregnant and on STRICT BEDREST, become so uncomfortable in her own house that she packed her shit up and left for a week. instead of just telling his mom to lay off a little bit. seriously. he was a WINNER.

jessa... jessasmamma

also - her watching me sleep occured AFTER she blocked me in my kitchen while i was trying to make some cookies for my familys christmas get together. there was only one way in/out of the kitchen and she parked her chair directly in the walkway and just sat there, staring at me. i tried talking to her, getting to know her better, asking her about family/work/etc. she just sighed and kept staring. when i told him it was really uncomfortable HE SAID I WAS OVERREACTING.


 


and lets not get too into when my daughter was born. i specifically explained that my doctor recommended having out-of-town family wait until the baby was one week old, to fly in. just to allow me to rest after having such a rough pregnancy. she waited til i was in the middle of labor, having back to back contractions - to ask my husband to put her on speaker so she could announce she was waiting in line at security at the airport and he needed to pick her up the next morning. i ended up having a c-section with my daughter, and the next day, after visiting my daughter in the nicu, i went upstairs to my hospital room to find her laying on my hospital bed, watching tv as if she owned the place.


 


there are no words to describe the feelings that women gave me just by being around after how she treated me. and obviously, my marriage wasn't meant to be considering my ex never saw any fault of hers and always insisted i was over-reacting and just didn't like her. HA!

Sweet... SweetPieMama24

Here's my advice: don't date one. I did for four treacherous years and it was horrible. He refused to move out of her house, she did his laundry and folded and put it all away, she cooked all his meals and actually served his plate to him, they practically slept in the same bed! It was nauseating how close they were.

Karen Nicholson

SweetPieMama, I did 4 years as well! She made his bed, bought his clothes, did all the laundry, even opened & sorted his mail. She wrote out his checks so all he had to do was sign them.That was too ridiculous for me.  That just damaged him for any future independence and any kind of future with me.

4cadi... 4cadillac

RUN 4 DA HILLS IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!!! Ladies if u feel uncomfortable in the relationship 4 any reason esp. The "mommaz boy" thang think twice. Once about what is going on & second about how fast you can git out that relationship!!! BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!!

nonmember avatar datingamamasboy

I've been dating this guy, and moved in with him 3 weeks ago. And I'm starting to believe he's a mamas boy. He's 27 and he has a fulltime job and yet he sends 100$ to his mother every week TO ANOTHER STATE so that she can add more money to it and write a check and send it back to him to pay his rent. AND HE DOES THIS WITH ALL HIS BILLS. His mom pays his cellphone bill. And his car recently was being repaired and his mom was the one communicating with the mechanic and paying for it. DID I MENTION SHE'S IN A WHOLE NOTHER STATE!!!! I feel like he's way too old for his mom to be doing things like this especcially if he makes more than enough money to take care of his own.

Triple Threat

TRUE LIFE: I'M DATING A MAMA'S BOY
Is your boyfriend's mama creating big-time relationship drama?

Does your man act more like a boy when he's around his mom? Do you feel like he's constantly choosing her over you? Does he expect you to coddle him the way his mother does? Has your guy become his mom's pseudo-husband which is making it hard for him to commit to you? Or is it mama that's not yet ready to cut the cord?

Have you reached the point where you're planning tell him that he has to start setting some boundaries? Or are you going to confront his mother directly and tell her to back off?

If you appear to be between the ages of 16-28 and feel that it's time to rehabilitate your mama's boy, email us at casting@triplethreattv.com and tell us why you can't take it anymore. Please include your name, location, phone number and recent photos of yourself.

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