Real Life 30-Year-Old Virgins Are Missing Best Part of Life

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In the movies, a 40-Year-Old Virgin is something to laugh about and mock, but in real life, most people assume they don't exist (they do!). Rather than mock the ones who do exist, many men (and women) fear them. In fact, women who are virgins and in their 30s exist and they are as normal as you and me. Except that they haven't had sex. 

The Daily Mail interviewed several such virgins, and though their reasons were as varied as the women themselves, the end result is the same. Women who are in their mid 30s (and some even older) who have never had sex.

It's an interesting phenomenon, and while religious beliefs or personality disorders may play a role, fear is also another major player. Many cited their fears of STDs and other such issues as a reason to not lay down and boogie. It makes perfect sense. But it's also kind of sad.

Sex is a big deal and it's often taken far too lightly in our culture. It's a big deal because it can make a baby. It's a big deal because one can get STDs. It's a big deal because of love and emotions and all kinds of ties and obligations. But it's a big deal in a good way, too.

It's a big deal because it's the best way for two people to connect. It's a big deal because being in love is what makes the world go around. So for women in their 30s who are still not having sex, there is a whole chunk of what makes life beautiful that they are simply not experiencing.

It isn't a good thing.

These women aren't experiencing one of the best parts of being a normal, healthy, functioning adult. One woman says she has all the time in the world to have sex with her husband and I see her point. But it's also not true. Life is short. And to miss something so beautiful out of fear is sad, indeed.

It's not that women should lose it in the back of a Chevy just to lose it. Love is a major part of the equation and it's not that these women should compromise themselves or settle. But isn't there a happy medium? By not having sex, the longer it goes, the more it limits their options. There does come a time somewhere down the line when they may simply never have sex. And that is a sad thing, indeed.

Sex is a great part of what makes us human. It's a way to explore our bodies and be close with another person. To miss it is to miss so much. It's very sad.

Do you think being a 30-year-old virgin is weird?


Image via Tropewell/Flickr



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Rhond... RhondaVeggie

Yep, I think it's kinda weird to be thirty and not married yet. When exactly do these people intend to grow up and enter adulthood?

Evaly... EvalynCarnate

Part of me wants to kick them in the pants and tell them to grow up. You'll never get married or have children if you dont get down! On theo ther hand....these people really are dodging a lot of bullets. I've only been with my husband and couldnt imagine being with another I kind of relate.

nonmember avatar blh

If they're not having sex out of fear then its sad. If they're waiting for marriage then that's their business. Although sex is not by a long shot the best thing in life. And love and sex are not at all the same thing. And rhondaveggie there are many adults who aren't married and some choose to never get married. Some people actually want to live their life and not get married at a ridiculously young age and pop out kids and be a subservient little housewife.

MIA0223 MIA0223

No. I think it's admirable. I waited for marriage, but I got married young, I was 19.

My youngest SIL is almost 30 and a virgin. She just hasn't found anyone she wants to marry yet.

nonmember avatar Cindy

Rhonda- not everyone finds the right person to marry by 30. No one should get married just because of their age and getting married isn't the door into a adulthood. Plenty of adults aren't married.

twoki... twokidsrme

Why is it weird to be 30 and unmarried, Rhonda? That is so close-minded. VERY close-minded actually, and a bit antiquated. And ridiculous. Being 30 and unmarried doesn't equate with not being grown-up or not entering adulthood. How in the heck can you correlate the two? I have a girlfriend who didn't get married until she was 34. She was grown up. Owned her own company, had her own home, etc. Wasn't a barfly. She just wouldn't settle for any man. She said she would marry when she found the right person. And she finally did. Had her first child at 38. Oh, and she was a virgin. Since when did giving your goodies to every man you have a relationship with become acceptable, and saving yourself the opposite? I think it's personal preference and there is nothing wrong with either choice. You can choose to sleep with your partners or you can choose to wait. Why label these women as weird or immature? Not everyone's goal in life is to get married and start popping out kids as soon as they can.

Mamab... MamabearC

Well, in today's society it is definitely not common to find people that are in their 30's and still virgins but I don't think it's weird. I really respect that they know what they want and aren't going to settle.It's also very refreshing to see people that know that sex isn't the meaning of life and you can have a happy fulfilling life without it.Honestly, there are lots of things that are way more important than sex.I will say though, that after 15 yrs. together I'm lucky that the spice in my marriage is still going strong and it's a special time between my husband and I that I love so in that sense I feel sympathetic towards those who have remained virgins out of fear.No one should let fear rule their lives,that's no way to live.But for those who have made this a conscience decision either out of respect for their religion,body or personal preferences, it's their choice and their business.Who am I to say that someones choice is weird?

poshkat poshkat

i knew a lady in her late 40s who was a virgin. she was very weird and eccentric. she said she was waiting for marriage, but she once told me that she just couldn't find the right person. she told me all about her dates and adventures in dating and from what i heard it was really all her and her behavior and the way she presented herself that led her to being single and a virgin.

its really not a bad thing to wait for marriage, or the right person, thats fine but not going out there and living because you are afraid of what might happen is not living at all.

Mamab... MamabearC

 Rhondaveggie and EvelynCarnate: you have to have sex and or be married to be considered grown up/an adult? I just want to make sure I understand your point of view, I'm not being snippy.  :)       I respect your opinion but my view is that is takes much more than that to be an adult. Think about how many young teens have sex now.At 12,13,14, etc..does that make them adults? Also by those qualifications Mother Teresa (nun=virgin) ISN'T an adult? Hmm.Could you please be more specific in your reasoning for this opinion so I can understand where you're coming from better? I always enjoy learning the how's and why's of peoples thought process.Such diversity in thinking patterns sometimes;it's really quite fascinating.Thanks.  :)

zandh... zandhmom2

I don't find it weird to not be married in your 30's or to be a virgin.  Different strokes for different folks.  I've even read stories of married couples who chose to have sexless marriages.  Love may make the world go round but love and sex are not the same thing.

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