Horrifying Text Exchange Proves Texting Is Very Bad for Dating

Love & Learn 17

Texting is a godsend for a married mom. My husband and I go back and forth about his work day, what we need from the grocery store, how the kids are doing, and what we are having for dinner. But that isn't all we use it for. Texting has given us the ability to quickly, quietly, and privately flirt a little during the day, too. In a long-term relationship, like a marriage, texting is amazing. In dating, on the other hand, it can be a disaster.

Last week, BuzzFeed ran a feature on the craziest dating text message I have ever seen. After one date, the woman in these texts goes completely off the rails and starts telling her date that she felt a connection, he needs to stop lying to her, and that she is lonely without him. You have to read it to believe it.

Now, even if BuzzFeed's text is just an urban legend, the truth is texting can be a disaster in an early relationship.

People tend to lament technology and everything it has taken away from romance. There are no love letters, no poetry, and no songs being written by young lovers any more. Now it's all throwaway texts in acronym form -- "Thx for the gr8 d8. TTYL!" Ah, romance at its finest.

But even worse, texting can be immediate and sometimes impulsive even in a way that email never has been. Somehow, even though it lacks the personal attention of a handwritten note, I am always more thought out in an email than a text. After all, the whole point of texting is to be brief and to the point to save time, right?

It can be a disaster for newly dating couples. Things can be misinterpreted and it's far (FAR!) too easy to exercise that texting thumb after consuming alcohol. This is almost always a recipe for disaster.

It's like drunk dialing, but way, way worse because it's permanent and easier. It's also hard for your friends to stop you because it's impossible to see what you are doing. Overall, it's just not a great plan.

If you are dating someone, use texting sparingly and pick up the phone or email. Trust me, when you are a month down the line, confused by something he said and out drinking with your girlfriends, you will be happy you have a no/low text policy. It will save you much embarrassment the next day.

Do you think texting is good or bad in relationships?

 

Image via Zawezome/Flickr

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proud... proudGBmama

Texting is a godsend in my dating relationship we both run our own buisinesses and we may be with customers or team members at 1 or 2 am taking on the phone or booking meetings. Its more inconvenient to call eachother.

Loref... Lorefield

My BF and I communicate pretty much exclusively by text when we are apart. Some people might find it odd, but neither of us are phone talkers and I don't remember the last time I checked my email :)


When we are together we talk a lot, so there is no communication problem. I have talked to him on the phone exactly twice in the past 9 months. Once to get directions because it was quicker than texting, and once because his crackberry wasn't sending texts.


I think that if someone is going to unleash the crazy, they will manage whether they text it, drunk dial it, leave it on voicemail, or whatever method. The people who do those things...just do.

Stacey. Stacey.

I think its much easier to pour your heart out by text, so it is def. dangerous. I like to text my man when we are fighting, it helps us both think about what the other person is saying without tlaking over them, it helps us stay more calm and collected since we need to actually think about what we're saying instead of just spewing hateful shit. it's also a great way to make up at the end of the fight if you catch my drift ;)

Melis... Melissa1508

Oh wow, I really hope that crazy text was fake.  hahaha!  That's a special kind of crazy right there...

the4m... the4mutts

I don't think some loony-toon chick has anything to do with txting in a relationship. She didn't have a relationship. She had a 1 night stand.

Prett... PrettyGirlMyers

I'm in a long term relationship and we use texting more for quick reminders or anecdotes. Back when I was single I started talking to a friend of a friend, and he asked me out for the first time via text. I don't know if I'm old fashioned, but I had a problem with this. When you're just getting to know someone you pick up the phone! Hence, no first date for him.


Another time a guy that I had known for a while and I started dating and I was SMITTEN. Sadly, the timing was bad and he was crazy with work, and me, not knowing that part of him, took it as him not being interested. Queue the night I had too much to drink and decided that drunk texting him about my feelings and his apparent disinterest would be a great idea. I totally freaked him out and scared him away. So, maybe texting isn't the best means of communication when you've started seeing someone new...

nonmember avatar Megan

Ah, the beauty of casual sex...
Just use a condom, it can protect you from any consequences... like insanity caused by frequent shame, embarrassment and a broken heart.
No need to abstain and wait for a serious relationship or marriage, that's so outdated.

Vanessa Taylor

I wrote a book about this very topic, Text. Love. Power. (on Amazon). I address this same issue which is that texting is starting to take the place of relationships and it's a very bad idea. Women are spilling their guts over text and, as a consequence, their relationships go nowhere. I teach them how to not use and use text to get their guy. I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way!

nonmember avatar Q

I never text. I'm not 13.

Rhaps... RhapsodyG

I only text my hubby when I can't pick up the phone and call him. That lady in the text was PSYCHO. She might have slept with the guy too soon and really put herself out there, but when she hung out at his house waiting for him all day, all I could think was, "Kevin, don't go home! Find a safe place to lay low!"

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