Why Women (Sometimes) Fake It

OMG 12

Guys, let me let you in on a little secret. Sometimes, we fake it.

I know, I know. It's shady and you don't like it. But sometimes, it just happens.


Well, there are lots of reasons women (sometimes) fake orgasms. Here are a few of the most common:

We're afraid of losing control -- We've got the perfect shoes, the perfect hair, the perfect car, and the perfect job. We're used to being in control. But an orgasm? That signifies a HUGE loss of control for us, where you'll see us at our most vulnerable. It's scary. So instead of losing control, we fake it.

We're afraid of something else -- Maybe we're thinking, "Oh shit, I hope I don't get pregnant" or "Oh shit, did I finish that report at work?" Whatever it is, it's preventing us from truly getting our rocks off because we can't even begin to concentrate on sex.

We don't know how -- Yeah, that's kinda embarrassing to admit, but sometimes our genitals confuse even us. Unlike dudes, we don't usually grow up masturbating -- we're often in our 20s before we learn how to please ourselves. So we fake it because we don't know how NOT to.

We want you to feel better about the sex -- Sometimes, we don't want to have to explain why we didn't reach the Big O. Sometimes, see, it's not so easy for us to hit that sweet spot every time we romp around in the bedroom. That doesn't mean we don't like sex or didn't enjoy ourselves. We just didn't quite make it.

We're ready to be done -- Sometimes, guys, we're just TIRED. We've been dealing with a mess of sick kids, we had to work late, and the house! The house needs cleaning like you wouldn't believe. So while we WANT to be in the mood, we're not because we're just plain old tired. So we fake it to get it over with without hurting your feelings.

Do you fake it? Have you faked it? Would you fake it?


Image via armigeress/Flickr

orgasm, sex


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jaxmadre jaxmadre

No. I don't lie to him.

Hooti... HootieMc138

You say "We" too much.... I'm definitely not part of your collective "We".. I have never faked.  There's no point.  I grew up knowing my body and sometimes it just doesnt happen.  But I've never had a bad time with my lover, my husband Dave. I always kiss him passionately at the end and tell him it was wonderful.  Because it always is.  For me, its the act of loving him and the orgasm is the delightful bonus.  Whether there's an orgasm or not, sex feels damn good, am I right ladies??!

And then there's times where I get an orgasm or two out of it and we work like clockwork for each time we get together.   Omg those are the best days, weeks, once 2 months of it.......(.loving my 40s!)

But why would you lie and say you've orgasmed...then he's not going to work on technique with you.  Be honest about your intimacy.  Would you like it if he faked?  No, you'd feel lied to and feel like you couldn't bring him to orgasm, that there was something wrong with you. 

Lying that you've orgasmed is just plain pointless.

AMickey AMickey

Not once have I ever faked it. We don't lie in our marriage. My husband and I spend almost every second around each other (we work at the same place)... There are never secrets between us.

Marcella Shambles

In past relationships, you bet.  I have never been able to achieve an orgasm except by masterbation, and I have never (until now) been able to do that in front/with anyone else.  Don't know if I finally grew up or just found true love, but I never fake it anymore and it's the most wonderful and fufilling sex I've ever had, with or without orgasms!

RoughGem RoughGem

I would never, ever fake it. If it's not going to happen, I just tell my husband honestly. He's old enough to get the truth about my body, for goodness sake.

Disney17 Disney17

I've been dating my boyfriend for about four months and I have never climaxed. I have been close, but never have. I've never lied about it. He knows I haven't climaxed and he knows it has nothing to do with him or his performance. When we make love it's amazing and feels beyond awesome but I just can't, and he knows that. No biggie. Lying only hurts you more in the end.

emmas... emmasmama2007

Agreed, I have faked in the past with the x. With my hubby it's different, I have never nor will I ever fake it. He's actually the only one who has ever made me orgasm, besides myself, he's amazing.

MsBatman MsBatman

Let me start by saying there is zero need for me to fake it.  He knows what I like, what I need, and that what worked last time may not work this time.  And I know that I can say, here, let me, and can 'put him where I need him', and wow, this is way more detail that I wanted to share.  The thing is, I don't need to fake it, and even if some night I'm off and I can't get there, well I can't fake it either, he'll know.  So I tell him, look, tonight it's just not going to happen for me, but let's make it happen for you...

the4m... the4mutts

I don't think there's really a "reason" to fake anything if we're honestly looking to be satisfied. But the whole "I'm tired and I just want him to get off, then get off of me", yah I can understand that one.

We're not looking to finish, just hoping he'll do it a little sooner if he thinks we have.

nonmember avatar Kitty

No faking it here. My body is too responsive when i AM enjoying myself for it to not be obvious if i were. Besides, honesty is the best policy. Why set yourself up for future disappointment by letting him think you're receiving pleasure from his "moves" if you're not?

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