4 Communication Pitfalls in Relationships -- and How to Fix Them

Love & Learn 13

No relationship is perfect. We all know this. We're not perfect and therefore our relationships will never be perfect either.

That's okay. That's normal.

But success in relationships -- romantic and otherwise -- have a lot to do with proper communication. In fact, most relationship problems are caused by poor communication.

Here are the top communication issues in romantic relationships and how to work through them:

The Problem: Misunderstanding words and actions. It's really easy to misinterpret your partner's words, emails, gestures, and actions to mean something other than what he or she intended. We're all human -- it happens.

The Solution: Don't immediately jump to conclusions. Instead of assuming you know what the other is thinking, ask for clarification. Continue asking for clarification until you understand what your partner is really saying.

The Problem: You don't talk enough. In a long-term relationship, most of us eventually hit a point where we feel we don't communicate much any more. We don't hang out. We have our routines (wake up, shower, dress, go to work, come home), and most don't involve the other person as much as they should.

The Solution: There's a simple fix for not communicating enough: recognizing that you're no longer communicating like you once did and talking more. Create some alone time to carve out for just the two of you.

The Problem: You're avoiding certain topics with your partner. Perhaps this is the reason that you're not talking to one another anymore. Maybe you're upset with your partner. Either way, you don't feel like discussing it, so instead, you clam up and say nothing. Your walls go up as a way of avoiding the issue.

The Solution: You're not benefiting your relationship in any way by avoiding problems. Instead of retreating and putting up big walls, take a long hard look at the issues and face them together. This way, you can work together to come up with a solution.

The Problem: You need to be right. We've all had those times when we couldn't back down from an argument. We're right, we know it, and we have to prove it. So we pick a fight (or continue to beat a dead horse) until we feel we've won.

The Solution: Being right isn't as important as having open lines of communication. Being willing to see things from another point of view may not change how you feel, but it does give you the incredible opportunity to learn.

What other advice do you have about communication issues in relationships?


Image via TORIMBC/Flickr

commitment, dating, lying, marriage


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orang... orangetree

OMG! How perfect that you posted this! Years ago I left the love of my life because of my insecurity, lack of confidence, and unwillingness to communicate. We ran into each other and both being single have been exploring the possibility of starting over. We both agree it was a lack of communication that led to our split. I'm thrilled to have a second chance!

jessi... jessicasmom1

great post thank you !

nonmember avatar TheSimpleTruth

This is a nifty idea, but it takes two. As in my case, my husband has zero self awareness and no clue communication is bad. Bad bad bad. But telling him that is not going to make it a lick better....so moving on....

vicesix vicesix

My communication tip is for us women to keep in mind that men communicate differently. They want it short, sweet, and to the point. I know I'm guilty of rambling on about my feelings for an hour, and my man's eyes start glazing over....he's tuning me out. It really helps if we can keep in mind that while WE have a whole lot to say typically, men just want the short cold hard facts and we are more likely to be able to engage them in a discussion if we can do it this way.

butte... butterflymkm

This is good advice for all relationships, not just romantic ones. We often forget these things when dealing with family and friends too.

butte... butterflymkm

Vicesix-my relationship is just plain weird I think. I'm the one that wants to just get to the point and hubs is the one that likes to beat around the bush lol

nonmember avatar cialis

I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are mistaken. I suggest it to discuss. Write to me in PM, we will talk.

nonmember avatar lexapro

In my opinion you are mistaken. I can prove it. Write to me in PM, we will communicate.

Florence Nady

I like the way you introduce both the problem and the solution for communication issues in relationships. It's funny, because I can recognize so many points mentioned in this article, as I have been in a difficult relationship as well. After consulting a professional on Your24hCoach, we figured that it was only about the communication, why we got into fights that often. It really helped to talk to someone who is a stranger to both of us. I could really adapt to the tips she gave me and put them into action. The only problem was, that not only the communication but also our characters didn't match and that's why we broke up in the end. BUT the reason was no longer the communication ;)

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