weddingSo, this is super cute. A really old couple who met at a retirement home are getting married. Eighty-five-year-old Larry Bushnell and 97-year-old cougar Columba Rosaly are all set to tie the knot this weekend. But wait, that's not the super cute part. The super cute part is the pair don't speak the same language. At all. Yeah, Larry is only fluent in English, while Columba only speaks Spanish. So I guess I should say: Muy cute.

Some may think it's weird to marry or, hell, even date someone you can't have any communication with whatsoever. (Except for the word "no.") But I think it's awesome. In fact, so awesome that it just might be the key to the totally blissful marriage that everybody's been frantically searching for.

First of all, there's the fact that you'd save a ton of money on therapy. No need to fork over $150 an hour to some quack who's just gonna tell you that your problem is communication, because, clearly, your problem is communication! You literally cannot talk to one other. So there's that.

Then there's the whole mystique thing. I mean, come on, aside from the French, who doesn't find a person speaking another language intriguing? We envision them saying really beautiful, thoughtful things. And they always seem smarter. Case in point: French-speaking Bradley Cooper -- tre hotter than English-speaking Bradley Cooper.

They'd also keep you on your toes. Maybe I'm just insecure, but I feel like every time I heard my non-English speaking husband laughing with his friends, I would assume they were talking crap about me. But I wouldn't ask, 'cause that would make me seem insecure, and that's so not cute to foreigners. So, I'd just go on wondering, and in a weird, sick way, it would make me even more attracted to him.

Finally, free language classes! What better way to learn another language than to completely immerse yourself in it? You'd basically be living with Rosetta Stone. You'd be married to Rosetta Stone. And it wouldn't cost you a dime. Lucky stiff.

Would you marry someone who didn't speak the same language as you?

 

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