It's Confirmed: Valentine's Day Robs Men Blind

Say What!? 6

valentine's day wishesHey you attached ladies. Right now, as you wrap up for the day at work and/or put the kids down for a nap and/or return from picking them up from school, your DH/SO/BF is likely out there at the mall/candy store/drugstore/florist picking up approximately $168.74 worth of clothing, jewelry, and other gifts for you for Valentine's Day. That's what the National Retail Federation has found at least. Overall, everyone's expected to shell out $17.6 billion for the Hallmark holiday. Seeing a number like that's probably enough to make you want to stop in your tracks, pick up your cell, and text your man, "NNNNNNOOOOOOO!!! STOOOOP!" ... right? Or maybe not. Maybe you spend the same or more on him?

Doubtful. The NRF also found that $168.74 is nearly double the amount women will spend on their guys. Excuse moi? Is it just me or is that stat totally disheartening? Yeah, I'm all about ladies being treated like royalty by their men, but since when did this holiday become another "her day"? 

As someone expecting to walk down the aisle soon, I keep hearing that the day we get married will be "my day," "the bride's day," etc. And as much as I'd love a day devoted to ME (yeah, who wouldn't?!), that's always struck me as totally off. What, am I marrying myself? Nooo. As far as I'm concerned, it will be our wedding day. The day we marry one another. My version of "my day" will be the day my first novel comes out. That will be all about me, but a wedding day will be about us. And I'm pretty damn sure Valentine's Day is supposed to be more like a wedding day. 

In that it's supposed to be about appreciating one another and celebrating your love for one another, no? Sure, women probably secretly or not so secretly care more about how V-Day goes over than guys do, but I'm sure no man is going to balk at the idea of being gifted as well or as extravagantly.

What's more, what's with all this cash-dropping anyway? Most serious couples share assets -- either directly through the same checking account (usually once you're married) or even indirectly if you live together -- so doesn't it just seem sort of silly to be spending almost $170 of joint moolah on materialistic crap? Wouldn't it make more sense to do something together, even if it's just going out to dinner or sharing a bottle of wine you both love or watching a favorite movie at home?

It's just that I don't recall when Valentine's Day got renamed Girlfriend/Wife Appreciation Day. Hey, not that I'd dispute a holiday like that, too (or maybe that should just be every day, huh?). But Valentine's Day was designed for lovebirds, and what's the point of celebrating a couples' holiday if you're not both going to give 100 percent?

Do you expect Valentine's Day to be all about you, or do you give as much as you receive?

Image via Clyde Robinson/Flickr

love, marriage


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Melis... Melissa042807

It's not about me. It's about us. Presents are, to me, for birthday and Christmas. Valentine's Day and anniversaries are about being together, so that's what we do. We just hang out together. Some of our most romantic memories aren't on fancy dates with diamonds and roses and champagne - they're lounging around in our pajamas, drinking hot tea and cuddling. 

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

I suspect some of the discrepancy comes from guys buying engagement rings.

My husband and I don't spend anything on each other for valentines day. I spent a little today on stuff for my son, a couple pieces of candy and a cupcake and flowers but only about $10 total then I made his favorite dinner and let him pick a movie to watch.

Kaela Wheeler

While we opt out of the presents part of V-day our selves, I would imagine the discrepancy in spending is because V-day for most ladies want chocolates, flowers and jewelery, while V-day for most men want sex. Guess which one is free ;)

Eques... EquestrianMom

Another thing I'd like to point out (as happened to us just this year!) a lot of women pre plan valentines day, buying in advance. I went to two stores, got two boxes of gourmet chocolates and a new tool he's been wanting, a nice card and made a card with son for my SO. Total cost? 20$, bought two weeks in advance and hidden in a closet. 

 My SO? forgot it was sneaking up on him, ran after work yesterday and grabbed flowers and a box of chocolates. Last minute price mark-up at the convenient store for him to swing by brought his total cost of this to 40$. OUCH! 

 I think this happens frequently to men. Also, I agree we Kaela! LOL! 

nonmember avatar Becky

I've never really understood why gifts are supposed to "show love" anyway, but maybe that's because I'm not a jewelry girl, lol. DH and I go out to dinner together, exchange cards (multiple cards, since we always get each other a funny card and a lovey card, and he also got me a card from our baby-on-the-way), and split some Russell Stover chocolate together. He used to get me flowers, but our cats always attack them, so I told him not to bother. The every day love stuff (clearing the snow off my car for me, emptying the dishwasher, etc) matters way more to me anyway!

1-6 of 6 comments