15 Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Received By Real Women

by Jill Smokler February 13, 2012 at 12:32 PM in Love & Sex

I'm not a big believer in Valentine's Day. My husband is the romantic one in our marriage while I roll my eyes at the sappy cards he presents me with year after year. Last year, after celebrating 15 years of me griping about the price of flowers and returning jewelry I didn't like, he finally got the hint and got me ... nothing. Unlike most of my friends, I really didn't mind. Plus, compared to some of the whoppers below, nothing seems like the best gift ever.

1. A T-shirt ... with Looney Tunes characters on it. Now if that doesn't say love, I don't know what does. -- Lindsay

2. Real flowers ... after telling him I'm highly allergic. Spent the day sleeping off the Benadryl. -- Mariah

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3. A stationary bike ... Am I that fat? -- Jennifer

4. An Ugly Dog purse, with a card for the girl he was cheating on me with inside. -- Jen

5. A royal blue "LOVE" stamp sweatshirt from the post office. -- Kimberly

6. A card from the dollar store that had a teddy bear on it and it said, "To my friend on Valentine's Day." Someone forgot his glasses. -- Mara

7. A half-eaten bag of pink and red M&M's. He said he got hungry on the way home. -- Jennifer

8. A half dozen nearly dead roses and a card in Spanish because all of the other cards were gone. -- Kerri

9. One of those razors that yanks the hair out by the roots ... OUCH! Guess my husband was giving me a hint. -- Wendy

10. Lice. He bought me a hat at a secondhand store, and three days later, our whole house was infected. -- Brandy

11. A DustBuster. No, really. -- Sharon

12. A plastic rose. The year after I got a ... plastic rose. -- Shannon

13. An unsigned card, because he wanted to be able to reuse it the next year. -- Kaitlyn

14. A pickle book. A recipe book to show 1,001 ways to cook pickles. -- Beckey

15. Getting dumped ... 2 years in a row! -- Sarah

What's the most unromantic gift you've ever gotten?

Image courtesy of Scary Mommy's Valentine collection

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Filed Under: valentine's day

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Jill Smokler

Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy, writes about motherhood -- the good, the bad and the scary. She's also the author Confessions of a Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies).

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Comments 69

linzemae

February 13, 2012 at 1:06 PM

Oh my god #4!

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rachelsilva

February 13, 2012 at 1:21 PM

Just flat out forgetting the day all together!

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Nonmember comment from Stephanie

February 13, 2012 at 2:03 PM

Getting dumped over the phone, after dating for 6mo... I met my future husband two months later though, so it worked out alright!

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the4mutts

February 13, 2012 at 2:32 PM

I asked for a day off because I was sick. I didn't get it, and on top of that, I had to cook dinner for us and the kids, because he was broke, and places around here don't let ppl use debit cards of their SOs. Oh, and he spent the evening reading while I scolded the kids for being too loud, in between puking sessions.
This year, if I don't get something considerate, even something free, like a walk alone with no kids, I might just kick him to the curb.

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Facebook comment from Dora Powell

February 13, 2012 at 3:01 PM

One of my first boyfriends, I was 13 and he was 15, gave me a picture of a kid flicking off the camera, (I think it was stock photography), and took me to mcdonalds and told me I could only order from the dollar menu. He didn't let me keep the picture, and then proceeded to try and get in my pants at the playground by the elementary school (It was night, and it was freezing cold).

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Nonmember comment from Anonymous

February 13, 2012 at 3:07 PM

The Valentine's when our first son was about 4 months old, I obviously had too high of expectations. I made a point of making a nice dinner and getting abottle of wine and cleaning up after myself a bit (you know how it is). He came home with a story about how his co-workers banded together to send roses to the wife of another coworker who announced that he never did anything for Valentines for his wife and what a jerk he was. You know what I got for Valentines that day from my husband who, I remind you told the aforementioned story to me ON VALENTINES DAY??? Jack and squat. Not even a card.

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Deals2Meals

February 13, 2012 at 3:11 PM

One year my husband got me The Biggest Loser Workout DVD's.
Apparently he thought I was fat.

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Nonmember comment from Cherie

February 13, 2012 at 3:28 PM

Oh no no to all the crappy Valentines and cheating, lice thats at the top!
To the last comment It looks like you will be next to get the roses from his co workers;) Sigh-MEN -

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Nonmember comment from bcIMthemommy

February 13, 2012 at 3:45 PM

I got socks one year for Valentine's Day from my college (ex) boyfriend. I hate socks, I never wear them. He said he was concerned about my health, when I asked him why he got me socks. He didn't have an answer as to why he gave me the same package of REGECTED socks from the previous Christmas.

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Nonmember comment from Tiffini S.

February 13, 2012 at 4:12 PM

An action movie and a small box of chocolates that said "Valentine for HIM" on it. This was even a week after Valentine's Day because that was the first we could see each other since he lived down south. I even called him to REMIND him that I was coming down and I had a gift for him (an iPod) and to please not forget me. He admitted later that he ran to CVS Pharmacy 20 minutes before I showed up (I'd been driving for 5 hours to get there) and raided the Valentines clearance section. And apparently the shooting with guns movie section.

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