kissengerYou know what's missing from the world? More photos of Mason Disick in Burberry. Know what else is missing? More asinine toys that simulate kissing. One's just not enough, you know? I don't know if you've seen this "kiss transition robot," but it's really only a matter of time before stores are flooded with things like this because, man oh man, I know everyone out there is really excited to pucker up to a plastic toy pig that "simulates" smooching your sweetheart.

This little piggy went to market, this little piggy came home. This little piggy had roast beef, and this little piggy vibrated on your lips until your cheeks went numb and you started questioning your decision making.

Words don't do this thing any justice, clearly. So please. Allow this homemade video to do the explaining.

Take it back, take it back, take it back. I don't know what's worse: The song, or that part where they rip open the two pigs on top of a blue tarp and show us their cyborg innards.

But if you're into this sort of thing, this locking-lips-with-a-plastic-ball-with-ears-while-Skyping-with-your-boyfriend thing, by all means, order one right up and have yourself one killer long distance Valentine's Day. And please, make a video like this one if you do so.

What do you think of this "toy"?

 

Photo via hmnasmn/YouTube