Being Single Means You’ll Die Stressed Out & Alone -- No Joke

Eye Roll 6

table for oneYou know, being single has a lot of perks. You can watch Friends reruns until 2 a.m. without anyone caring, you can eat fluffernutters for dinner wearing a velour tracksuit, and you can cut your toenails in the living room. I mean, come on, it doesn't get much better than that. But don't tell scientists all this -- they won't believe you when you say you're happy. According to some of their data, it's only possible to be happy and healthy when you're paired up with a partner.

Researchers examined cortisol levels in couples who lived together before, during, and after a seven-day separation period. And guess what! They were stressed out, non-sleeping messes when they were apart, "proving" once again that singletons are destined to die alone, anxious and tense, cortisol levels through the roof, in a pile of their own toenail clippings.

The scientists go on to say that this little study is just another notch in their belt in showing how romantic ties are beneficial for our health.

So I guess the news is good for those of you out there who've found your lobster, and bad news for those out there who are still watching TBS reruns at wee hours in the morning. It's another high five for the married folks, another slap on the wrist for single ones.

But whatareyougonnado. If you're married, then I say throw yourself a party and do a little jig because you are one healthy and happy individual who's winning at life. And if you're single, look to your left. Now to your right. Is there any guy near you that looks like he won't kill you in your sleep nor eat human babies? Then you might as well take one for the team ("team" meaning you, your health, and your cortisol levels) and shack up with the dude. Your body, it seems, will thank you in the long run.

Do you pay any attention to research like this?


Photo via Ran Yaniv Hartstein/Flickr

marriage, dating


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leomo... leomommy1325

I'm one of those single moms that's destined to die alone and miserable according to this article.  I'm a single mom, yes, and yes, I'm stressed out sometimes by my 6.5 year old daughter,  but I'm happy to have the freedom to come and go as I please without someone up my ass all the time wondering where I am if I don't answer my phones which is part of the reason that I'm a divorcee.  I know not ALL guys are pieces of scum - just the ones that I seem to attract.  I don't think I'm going to die alone and miserable.

Loref... Lorefield

I don't know, as written it sounds like they only studied couples who they separated for 7 days. How can that even be called a study?

In order for it to mean anything, they need to compare those levels with single people. Obviously couples will show signs of distress while separated.

Ms.Pu... Ms.PuNkrOckStar

How bout they do a study of a single lady then take her to live with someone for 7 days. Lets see how stressed she gets! Im not single but i dont believe we women need someone to make us feel better.

emmas... emmasmama2007

I agree this has no real basis. I was single for 3 yrs. I was a single mom preggo & with a toddler. I was truly happier single, than in the previous relationship. Like someone mentioned, didn't have to worry about anyone else beside myself and my children. Those years really helped me, last year I found my soulmate and I'm still really happy. So being single and happy is possible.

nonmember avatar terri

oh please!! I've been single for a longer period of time than I was in relationships (including being married) and I'm MUCH happier single than I've ever been while in a relationship. I don't need a man to make me happy. I also don't sit up watching reruns of Friends or any other program until the wee hours. I actually have a life. Try expanding the study to include people who have been single for some time and see how it comes out then!

nonmember avatar Alena

This is literally the dumbest and most ridiculous article I have read in a very long time. If you think that just because you don't keep a partner 100% of the time or even towards the end of your life that you are going to die miserable, the only reason why is because you are an extremely insecure and have zero confidence. With or without someone by your side the only reason anyone will die alone and miserable is because they choose too. I think the title of this article should be called "Co dependent"

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