Some Old-School Dating Rules Should Be Retired (VIDEO)

Love & Learn 12

JoAnn from Bensonhurst talks mannersI'm sure that ever since the dawn of time, there have been dating rules of the road. Some dos and don'ts have stood the test of time, like having the tact to thank someone after they've paid for dinner (or, in the dark ages, perhaps they hunted or gathered it) or knowing better than to talk so much that you don't let your date get a word in edgewise. But other rules are a bit hazier, I'd say ...

Not according to JoAnn From Bensonhurst, though. The Brooklyn mom is talking "manners" in her latest episode on CafeMom Studios' YouTube Channel, and when it comes to courtship courtesy, she certainly makes some some awesome points. But I gotta say, I'm not with her 100 percent on some of her old-school rules.

Check out the episode ...

Okay, so breaking up via text? Yes, totally wrong! Have the decency to break up with someone face-to-face ... and not via FaceTime! In person! But the sex on the first date as an absolute no-no? Ehhhh ... come on, JoAnn, not everyone who ends up in bed on the first go-round is a "who-er" (hahaha). And pointing to her grandparents' era, a time when premarital sex was shunned by most women who had to be seen as "good girls" to get hitched, isn't exactly helpful or empowering to women today.

More from The Stir: Magazine Gives Teen Girls Worst Dating Advice Ever

I agree that always jumping into bed on the first date makes someone (women and men!) a whore, but sometimes, first date sex just happens. There's off-the-charts sexual chemistry, you've been friends for a long time before having your first date, you both drank a little too much -- oh well! I don't think it necessarily is a death sentence for the relationship, as The Rules authors -- and JoAnn perhaps -- would have us ladies believe.

Similarly, her take on paying on the first date strikes me as a bit too black and white. It probably makes the most sense for whoever initiated the first date to pay. And I agree that a woman's got to at least offer on the second date, but she might also want to actually plan on paying if the guy paid the first time. You know, these days, it makes a lot more sense to take turns or split the bill 50/50. Women who say they've never had to pay for a date in their lives drive me nuts! (What are they trying to do -- single-handedly turn the clock back 50 years?!)

All in all, though, JoAnn's got the right idea, and her overall message -- you know, having common courtesy (something that seems to escape many New Yorkers!) and saying "please," "thank you," and "I love you" -- is one we should all consider more often.

More from The Stir: Only Nut Cases Would Pay $1,200 for Online Dating Help

Want to get more of JoAnn From Bensonhurst cracking wise? Check out her new video series on the CafeMom Studios YouTube Channel! A new episode will appear every Monday, but you can subscribe right there in case you forget!

What do you think about JoAnn's old school dating rules?


Image via CafeMomStudios/YouTube

cafemom studios, hooking up, dating, sex, joann from bensonhurst


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

I don't think I ever paid for a date but I think I went on about two dates. Our first date was free, a society movie date, and then my husband paid for my movie ticket on the next one. After that we just weren't dating, we were a couple.

happy... happynugget6

I agree men should pay and yes having sex on the date is trashy

nonmember avatar Whatever

Sex on the first date is not cool. Once met a guy who said it just sends the wrong message... But I'm a prude so whatever.

Craft... CraftyJenna

In general yes, but there are a few exceptions. For instance I slept with my husband on our first date, ew have a baby and are going on five years together so I don't think that makes me a "whore".

Stacey. Stacey.

Sex on the first date lets a guy know you are easy, if you are easy with him he most likely thinks you are easy with other guys too. This leads to you becoming a booty call. If you want a man to take you seriously, you cant just give it up!

Especially from being too drunk, did you really say thats ok? Im pretty sure being a sloppy drunk who has sex on the first date is the WORST light you can let a guy see you in. You can be sure he will be telling his friends about you while having a good group laugh.

NBean311 NBean311

Sleeping with dates on the first date doesn't make you a whore... Having sex for profit does. It astounds me that women try do demand respect from each other and then pass judgement on others sexual choices and label them for it. If you don't like sex on the first date, then don't do it, but don't label others for their choices. Lots of people sleep together on the first date and live long happy lives together. To each her own.

nonmember avatar Darlene

Morality and respect for ourselves is out-of-style these days. Instant gratification reigns supreme. Therefore, first-date sex is as normal and accepted as a ten year old having a cell phone. We need it NOW -no matter the cost whether that be financially, or you get an STD. Once again, just so long as I'm instantly gratified.
That said, if you're screwing on a `first-date', your're BOTH trashy.

starl... starlight1968

I guess I'm old school but sex on the first date is a "no-no", that whomever asks pays, and a girls reputation is the only thing she's really got for herself.

skrawli skrawli

its all about standards.  

You show someone how to treat you and thats how you will be treated.  Almost 16 years strong and he still opens the doors for me and takes his coat off for me.  He brings me treats and calls for no reason!  you would think after 5 kids it would be old and he would quit. and he is HOT!!!

1-10 of 12 comments 12 Last