So here's something interesting. George Clooney's ex-girlfriend is dating Jackass jackass, Steve-O. Elisabetta Canalis and George were hot and heavy for the better part of 2011 until they broke up and she moved to L.A. and joined the cast of Dancing With the Stars. Now. I don't know if it was all the floor polish in those dance studios or all that California fresh air, but something must have gone to Elisabetta's head. How, in the world, can you go from George Clooney, one of the sexiest men alive, to Steve-O, who's famous for barfing up live goldfish and drinking gallons of milk until he pukes?
The pair were caught making out, er, more like Steve-O was caught sucking the life out of Elisabetta via her mouth, so I guess this is really happening. Is this the worse case of rebound-itis you've ever seen?
The rebound guy that you date is usually the first that shows any interest in you, isn't imprisoned, and doesn't live with his mom. Well, he can live with his mom, just not in the basement. He doesn't stick around for long in your life, but he's there just long enough to boost your confidence, get you day drunk on a Tuesday, and help you, ultimately, to get over your ex. Steve-O is Elisabetta's rebound.
I hope he realizes this and rides that ride as long as he can because soon, he's going to be laying by the curb in a pool of his own vomit. Wait. He probably does that on the regs. So never mind, but you get what I'm saying.
As far as Elisabetta goes, I pray she's out of this rebound stage soon because lord knows my stomach can't handle anymore images of her and Steve-O sucking face all over the Internet. It hurts my soul. You know, if George Clooney was like a fine red wine, then Steve-O is like a generic Red Bull and well vodka. She'll come around soon enough, though, that terrible Steve-O hangover's bound to kick in any moment now.
And, if for some reason this is the real deal and they're really into each other, then Jesus H. Christ, I might have a chance with Clooney.
Have you ever rebounded after a serious relationship?
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