5 Ways to End a Fight & Get to the Good Stuff (Making Up!)

Love & Learn 8

Fights happen. In even the very best relationships, fights do happen.

It's natural to fight, we know this. But how do you stop a fight once it's begun? That's one of the hardest parts of a relationship -- learning the proper way to end a fight.

But once you know how to properly end a fight in a relationship, you're able to end fights with other people that much more easily.

Here are five easy, practical, and important tips for ending a fight so you can get to the fun part (making up!).

1. Stop blabbering and listen. I'm as guilty as the next person of this. The minute my hot-buttons are all pushed (and not in a hot way), I'm all amped up to keep shouting my point. But it's not an effective or healthy way to handle fighting. Instead, stop, listen, and really hear what the other person is saying. Echo that back to them, "You're mad because I overspent on the credit card again." Amazing how simple it is to make someone feel heard.

2. Don't yell, especially if you have kids. Kids don't need to hear their parents arguing, and yelling is a good sign that the argument has gotten WAY out of control. Once you start yelling, you're apt to say things you don't even mean. So resist the urge and do not succumb to it.

3. Don't walk away or hang up the phone. My husband is a master of walking away and shutting himself in another room when we're fighting. NOTHING gets resolved that way. Eventually we both come back together but the situation is still unresolved and now feelings of anger and resentment have formed.

4. Boundary issues. There are certain things in a fight that should never, ever be allowed. Name calling is one of them. Bringing up a gigantic list of past grievances is another. Establish your boundaries and work through your issues -- FAIRLY.

5. Say you're sorry. No one likes to apologize, especially if they feel they were in the right to have behaved the way they did. But an apology can go millions of miles toward ending a fight.

What other tips do you have for ending a fight?

 

Image via miguelpdl/Flickr

dating, breakups, commitment

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butte... butterflyfreak

I have to disagree with #3. Sometimes the very best thing you can do is to walk away, especially if things have gotten really heated. The rest of the list makes a lot of sense.

nonmember avatar Tara from About

Ending a fight is always sticky, isn't it? I agree with butterflyfreak above, though. I think that walking away can be a great way to find a level head and let good perspective prevail. I guess it doesn't end the fight quickly, but (for my husband and I), it usually leads to a lasting resolution.

Melis... Melissa042807

Sometimes we go to bed mad at each other. Yep, we do. "Don't let the sun go down on your anger" be darned. Sometimes it's just too late at night and we're both tired and cranky and not thinking straight, so the best thing to do is say "Okay, we're not resolving this tonight - I love you, goodnight." And then when we wake up in the morning we usually both go "That was dumb. I'm sorry." 

rash232 rash232

I agree with melissa, tara, and butteryfly. My other half and I sometimes just walk away. Cool down, and think about the situation. Then we revisit the issue later. So that means either someone walks away, goes to sleep or hangs up thephone. In the end we always resolve the problem.

Anne4222 Anne4222

Run a bath, have dirty sex and move on lol

nonmember avatar MonsterMaX3

Maybe I'm misreading, but I don't think #3 is saying we shouldn't take a cool down period if needed. I think it is saying don't stomp off angry because you're not getting your way... like my youngest child does. *laughs* I think walking away is fine and is sometimes necessary. But I’ve learned how important it is for it to be done in a manner that lets the other party know you're not 'walking out' on them and the problem. If one of us says 'Look, we're not going to resolve this right now. Let's drop it until later when we've calmed down,' it ends the argument, lets both of us walk away, but doesn't make anyone feel shut out.

mommy... mommynwife0707

It may sound crazy and you risk possible rejections (I have only once boy was he mad then lol) but in the middle of arguing gaze into his eyes and give him a deep passionate kiss! Most of the time it leads to GREAT make up sex!

Michelle Hollis

I think walking away is okay only if both agree to it first. Just storming out isn't okay, that'll just fuel the fire. But if one says, "I need a few minutes to calm down and breathe, can we come back to this in a little while?" then yes it's okay.

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