You know how sometimes people say women say one thing but mean another? Well, that's totally true. For women and men, but I can only really speak for women because I am one. One subject that is often difficult to be totally and completely upfront about is sex. And I mean whether you are a woman having sex with a new lover or sex with your husband of 3,987 years (or maybe it just feels that long). We kind of have a one size fits all phrase for when we don't want to have sex. Perhaps you've heard it before? "I'm just not in the mood."
Fair enough. Sometimes we just aren't in the mood and it's for no other reason than the thought of getting naked gives us a headache. (Headache, of course, is another common excuse and often very real.) But there are many times we aren't in the mood for a reason. Maybe it's something the man did, or something we did. So I took this topic to a whole bunch of women and asked for their responses on the real reason they say no to sex. Some may surprise you.
- Because you didn't do the dishes.
- There is a weird smell coming from your butt.
- You flirted with the waitress and it made me upset.
- I feel fat and I am so not in the mood.
- I have B.O. so I don't want you near me.
- You have B.O. and I don't want you near me.
- I didn't brush my teeth.
- It smells like you didn't brush your teeth.
- You aren't paying enough attention to foreplay.
- I really don't want to give you a blowjob and I know that's what you like first and I just. can't. do. it.
- Because I don't want to do it the minute you walk in the door like you expect.
- Because you've been a pervert all day and it's annoying.
- I'm hungry -- and not for sex.
- Because I'm tired.
- Because groping doesn't turn me on.
- You're drunk and I'm not.
- I don't feel sexy.
- Because I have no interest in sex at all.
- I slept with someone else earlier in the day.
- I just want to be alone.
- Everyone's been up my ass all day, the kid, the dog, the cat, I don't want you there, too.
- Because you're being an asshole.
- Because you're being rough in a mean way.
- I masturbated today. I've had enough.
- Because I can't orgasm and I don't feel like faking it right now.
- Because you aren't hard and I'm tired of trying.
- Because loafing around the house in your boxers while you scratch your balls doesn't make me hot.
- I'm on my period.
- Because I wish the time you just spent playing your Xbox you were playing with me instead.
- Because you don't want to do it how I want and I don't feel like explaining.
- I fantasized about an ex today. I can't do it with you right now.
- Because I'm cranky.
- Five minutes ago you were basically ignoring me. Now you want to have sex? No.
- Because I just showered and don't want to get dirty.
- Because I don't think you love me.
How many of these reasons have been true for you?
Image via suze92/Flickr
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Comments 202
Sometimes I just like a cuddle or a back rub without Mr. Winky poking me in the back. Really honey? A thirty second backrub is not worth robbing me of precious sleep.
It's not perfection and you know it. A majority of these excuses are mean spirited at best, downright hateful at worst. The super pregnant Michelle who aches and hurts and generally feels miserable? That's a good reason to turn your husband down. Hell, he shouldn't even be asking. The exhausted mothers of little ones? That's an unfortunate, but normal part having little ones. But the rest are just plain selfishness. I wouldn't want to be treated that way by my husband so I won't do it to him. Honestly, this list is disgusting. "I cheated on you", "you're gross", or "I'm withholding sex to punish you" are only worthy of condemnation.
I read once that a country in the Netherlands: think it was Finland had the most sex because the men helped out the most there. Being tired has a lot to do with it I think.
It's not perfection and you know it. A majority of these excuses are mean spirited at best, downright hateful at worst. The super pregnant Michelle who aches and hurts and generally feels miserable? That's a good reason to turn your husband down. Hell, he shouldn't even be asking. The exhausted mothers of little ones? That's an unfortunate, but normal part having little ones. But the rest are just plain selfishness. I wouldn't want to be treated that way by my husband so I won't do it to him. Honestly, this list is disgusting. "I cheated on you", "you're gross", or "I'm withholding sex to punish you" are only worthy of condemnation."
Howlong have you been married? IMO many of them apply to almost every woman I know who has to live the life of a normal woman. PLUS, get a sense of humor. What is wrong with stating the truth about being human? It doesn't mean you don't love 'em. It just means guys can be butts, and well...guys, and women have been trying to deal with that truth from the jump. Been married 39 years, love my hubby with all my heart, but some of those hit right on the nose.
MY TOP FAV FROM THE LIST??? #21~ ROFL!!!
21. Everyone's been up my ass all day, the kid, the dog, the cat, I don't want you there, too.
I can TOTALLY identify wih most of these minus the sleeping with someone else! LOL LOL LOL
THANKS Michelle! I needed that laugh! Now where's my hubbs, he needs to read! LOL
OH Dear LORD FORIDAMOM96!!!! GET OVER YOURSELF! Talk to us when you have been married longer than you haven't. Thanks!
OMG...I didn't count. But many of them are true. I wonder if he would get the hint if I printed this and highlighted the ones I feel.
lol so going there.
I cracked up at this list. I've had migraines since I was 3 yrs old and my husband found this article about orgasms curing migraines and kept insisting that migraines weren't an excuse. Well a bunch of those numbers had also been piling up and I pissed and he kept pushing. I finally snapped and said something like either stop pushing or you wont like my answer. He wasn't smart enough to stop and I turned around and snapped back "An orgasm might cure migraines, but I wouldn't know as faking them doesn't"
hahaha, other than the comment about sleeping w someone else, and fantasizing of another, I read this to SO, and he laughed his ass off!! He even agreed with several of them!! We are all human, why does it really, really, matter, if we don't wanna have sex, as long as we are honest in our relationships??