You know how sometimes people say women say one thing but mean another? Well, that's totally true. For women and men, but I can only really speak for women because I am one. One subject that is often difficult to be totally and completely upfront about is sex. And I mean whether you are a woman having sex with a new lover or sex with your husband of 3,987 years (or maybe it just feels that long). We kind of have a one size fits all phrase for when we don't want to have sex. Perhaps you've heard it before? "I'm just not in the mood."
Fair enough. Sometimes we just aren't in the mood and it's for no other reason than the thought of getting naked gives us a headache. (Headache, of course, is another common excuse and often very real.) But there are many times we aren't in the mood for a reason. Maybe it's something the man did, or something we did. So I took this topic to a whole bunch of women and asked for their responses on the real reason they say no to sex. Some may surprise you.
- Because you didn't do the dishes.
- There is a weird smell coming from your butt.
- You flirted with the waitress and it made me upset.
- I feel fat and I am so not in the mood.
- I have B.O. so I don't want you near me.
- You have B.O. and I don't want you near me.
- I didn't brush my teeth.
- It smells like you didn't brush your teeth.
- You aren't paying enough attention to foreplay.
- I really don't want to give you a blowjob and I know that's what you like first and I just. can't. do. it.
- Because I don't want to do it the minute you walk in the door like you expect.
- Because you've been a pervert all day and it's annoying.
- I'm hungry -- and not for sex.
- Because I'm tired.
- Because groping doesn't turn me on.
- You're drunk and I'm not.
- I don't feel sexy.
- Because I have no interest in sex at all.
- I slept with someone else earlier in the day.
- I just want to be alone.
- Everyone's been up my ass all day, the kid, the dog, the cat, I don't want you there, too.
- Because you're being an asshole.
- Because you're being rough in a mean way.
- I masturbated today. I've had enough.
- Because I can't orgasm and I don't feel like faking it right now.
- Because you aren't hard and I'm tired of trying.
- Because loafing around the house in your boxers while you scratch your balls doesn't make me hot.
- I'm on my period.
- Because I wish the time you just spent playing your Xbox you were playing with me instead.
- Because you don't want to do it how I want and I don't feel like explaining.
- I fantasized about an ex today. I can't do it with you right now.
- Because I'm cranky.
- Five minutes ago you were basically ignoring me. Now you want to have sex? No.
- Because I just showered and don't want to get dirty.
- Because I don't think you love me.
How many of these reasons have been true for you?
Image via suze92/Flickr