You know how sometimes people say women say one thing but mean another? Well, that's totally true. For women and men, but I can only really speak for women because I am one. One subject that is often difficult to be totally and completely upfront about is sex. And I mean whether you are a woman having sex with a new lover or sex with your husband of 3,987 years (or maybe it just feels that long). We kind of have a one size fits all phrase for when we don't want to have sex. Perhaps you've heard it before? "I'm just not in the mood."
Fair enough. Sometimes we just aren't in the mood and it's for no other reason than the thought of getting naked gives us a headache. (Headache, of course, is another common excuse and often very real.) But there are many times we aren't in the mood for a reason. Maybe it's something the man did, or something we did. So I took this topic to a whole bunch of women and asked for their responses on the real reason they say no to sex. Some may surprise you.
- Because you didn't do the dishes.
- There is a weird smell coming from your butt.
- You flirted with the waitress and it made me upset.
- I feel fat and I am so not in the mood.
- I have B.O. so I don't want you near me.
- You have B.O. and I don't want you near me.
- I didn't brush my teeth.
- It smells like you didn't brush your teeth.
- You aren't paying enough attention to foreplay.
- I really don't want to give you a blowjob and I know that's what you like first and I just. can't. do. it.
- Because I don't want to do it the minute you walk in the door like you expect.
- Because you've been a pervert all day and it's annoying.
- I'm hungry -- and not for sex.
- Because I'm tired.
- Because groping doesn't turn me on.
- You're drunk and I'm not.
- I don't feel sexy.
- Because I have no interest in sex at all.
- I slept with someone else earlier in the day.
- I just want to be alone.
- Everyone's been up my ass all day, the kid, the dog, the cat, I don't want you there, too.
- Because you're being an asshole.
- Because you're being rough in a mean way.
- I masturbated today. I've had enough.
- Because I can't orgasm and I don't feel like faking it right now.
- Because you aren't hard and I'm tired of trying.
- Because loafing around the house in your boxers while you scratch your balls doesn't make me hot.
- I'm on my period.
- Because I wish the time you just spent playing your Xbox you were playing with me instead.
- Because you don't want to do it how I want and I don't feel like explaining.
- I fantasized about an ex today. I can't do it with you right now.
- Because I'm cranky.
- Five minutes ago you were basically ignoring me. Now you want to have sex? No.
- Because I just showered and don't want to get dirty.
- Because I don't think you love me.
How many of these reasons have been true for you?
Image via suze92/Flickr


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Comments 202
Wow. 19? Just...wow. Brutally honest, indeed.
This is actually a really good list, though. A lot of times I'm just too damned tired to even contemplate the process of having sex. Taking clothes off, foreplay, sex, cleaning up, getting clothes back on....ugh. It makes me tired NOW just thinking about it. I'm not saying...like...every day, lol. But that's my main reason when I'm not in the mood. Just. Too. Worn. Out.
Interesting list!! I qualify with #2,43,4,10,14,15,17,18,21,22,33,34 and I wanted to add my own - whining during sex turns me off for a LONG time. I still literally can't get the whining out of my head.
"Because loafing around the house in your boxers while you scratch your balls doesn't make me hot."
So TRUE! lol. This would have to be my favorite.
Actually number 10 is right on! And the ones about video games and ignoring me another top reason for me!
Yeah.... #14. My hubby gets home near midnight (works in the restaurant industry). I'm home all day with our 5YO son. I'd rather have a backrub so I can pass out.
21! Omg, so true! and not just kids, dogs, my horses, most of all my clients! Why is it so hard for men to understand that? Shoot, even just starting into some cuddling and foreplay on a day like that will get you farther then asking me (hey, you wanna make love?) because no, no I don't. I absolutely cannot do one more thing to make someone else happy today, and I already cooked your diner and washed your clothes, the only thing my ass is dong is going to bed.
I'm usually a woman who is pretty honest as to why I am not in the mood, however, no guy I've known really wants to know why I don't want to, just when I will want to again! LMAO!
haha yeah i bout died laughing at #21! some of them were like wow, really?!?! but some made me think "wow, glad im not the only one who thinks like that" lol