The Sex Secret Only Older Women Know


kim cattrallSure, by playing Samantha Jones and being outspoken about sex, Kim Cattrall has made some headway, but these days, middle or senior aged women having sex, enjoying sex is still something of a joke in our culture. In our youth-dominated pop culture, we seem to think that once you hit 45, it's all downhill -- other hot, mature women like Demi Moore, Madonna, and Meryl Streep be damned!

But that is so not true! And research is finally proving it: A study published in the American Journal of Medicine found, in a group of women between 40 and 100, half were sexually active, and more of those women said they were able to become aroused, maintain lubrication, and achieve orgasm during sex, even after the age of 80! In other words, satisfaction seems to go up with age! Whoa, baby!

That's exciting news in itself, but there's more ... These findings actually shed some light on what under 40s can be doing to have better sex.

Lead researcher Elizabeth Barrett-Connor, MD noted that the main complaint of young people who suffer from sex dysfunction is that they have a low interest in sex. But meanwhile, the older women were not thinking about sex, planning to have sex ahead of time, longing for sex, etc. and yet ... they had sex activity that was satisfactory to them.

Hmm, interesting! Of course, what's satisfying to you, me, or any of women in this study is relative. But the bottom-line was that they said they're enjoying themselves! And at the same time, the young people are spending time stressing out, planning, overthinking sex ... and still finding themselves suffering from some form of sex dysfunction/low libido. Kinda makes me think these older women are onto something!

Maybe no matter your age, all that worrying/overanalyzing/planning/Woody Allen-ing out when it comes to sex is just counterproductive. We put so much pressure on ourselves to have out-of-this-world sex, even going to the extent of worrying what celebs are doing or the kind of sex our friends are having or whatever, and as a result, we're killing our sex lives! Seems like as "with it" as we younger women think we are, we could stand to take a tip from the more mature women in this study and realize that the less we stress about sex, the better it gets.

What do you think about the results of this study? Do you agree that it's better not to overthink sex?

Image via Canadian Film Centre/Flickr


sex, sex secret


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jessi... jessicasmom1

woohoo I am 40 next year! lol

Saphi... SaphiraJFire

lol I agree with the study totally the more you over think anything the harder it is to enjoy.

Its like they say the more you stress about trying to get pregnant the harder it will be to actually get pregnant.


butte... butterflyfreak

Really? That's the big secret to great sex, is not to over-think it? Honestly, I don't see how that's such a secret, I've known that for years. Hence the reason I've always had an active, yet somehow stress-free, sex life, even in my single days.

mrssu... mrssundin

this article is just dumb who cares if your older and having sex so what no big deal.

nonmember avatar Justin

I can totally agree and I'm only 20 years old! Me and My GF don't have our own place so sometimes getting down to sex is hard and does take some planning, but I've noticed when we have to plan it out, I dont enjoy it as much or long for it as much either. It seems the more spontaneous the sex is the better.

persi... persimmon12

I completely agree; I'm 63 and loving sex more now than ever before!

nonmember avatar oldfoxyguy

Sex, like most good wine improves with age. The many forms of contests for dominance between the sexes fall away and the act of sex, and all the variations, becomes a mutual enjoyment of the moment. I, at 82, am having the best sex of my life, and I have had a very active sex life all my life since age 10.

jessi... jessicasmom1

:-) haha just seen my post way up there I too have a great sex life  and hey if it gets better with age well I am all for it !

Twix.... Twix.Leigh

Well gotta say, I'm almost the youngest in a group of people, and all my female friends, ALL of them, over 30 agree on this... sex.. gets.. better!!! Whenever it is someone else's turn to hit 30, they get reassured by the ladies already over, and it gets me thinking.. I cannot wait!! If sex only gets better, and time is the best teacher, my sex life will totally freakin rock!! Not that it doesn't already ;) ha ha.. bring on the years :P

nonmember avatar Chollaberry

Ok, I thought I was hot @ 30, and at least I was having fun. Then came the 40's and I was celibate by choice for 13 years. I just turned 60, have a 49 year old lover and WOW, things have gotten incendiary!! I think there's something to this article. I don't plan it, buy lingerie for it, don't over think it. When we have time together, we kinda view it as a gift and we definitely take advantage of it. Multiple orgasms without props are standard. My partner and I were together for a couple years over 10 years ago and we both agree, it's way better now. He thinks it's because we've gotten less vain, less preoccupied with how we "look" and more into pleasing each other. And definitely less fear of "doing something wrong". Who cares!!! We'll just do it until we get it "right". Having the time of my life!!!

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