Guys Say 'I Love You' First But Do They Really Mean It?


When I thought about my past (and present) romantic relationships, I'd assumed that I'd been the one to say "I love you" first. I mean, that's what normally happens, right? We're the gushy girls who can't wait to get it out of our mouths, so we always say it first and spill it at every opportunity ... right?

Not so much.

Women are the romantics in relationships. We're the ones quickest to let those words tumble out of our mouths, right? I'd have sworn up and down that women say it first.

I'd also have been wrong --  men are actually more likely to say "I love you" first. Shocking, I know.

In a survey of people in their mid-20's to their 60's, performed by a social psychologist at MIT, it was discovered that men declare love before women 70 percent of the time. But what's even more shocking is that the study found that it's when a man says "I love you," that really matters.

Men who say "I love you," before sex are often looking for a short term fling. They may leverage those words to get sex out of the deal.

Men who say those three words AFTER sex, however, are more likely to value -- and be seeking out -- long-term relationships. Using those three words, "I love you," after sex is a much better indicator of the true emotions behind those words -- as neither party is trying to get something out of the equation. Sex has been had, there's no more ambiguity as to what each person feels and wants. That means it's time for honesty.

Turns out that the science behind "I love you," tells you a lot about your partner. And that's a good thing.

Who said "I love you" first in your current relationship?


Image via qthomasbower/Flickr



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phoen... phoenixmom2011

My husband said it first, but it was still three months before we had sex, two of those months we were living together.

count... countrygirl670

These results are not shocking to any female of our species living on this particular planet.

jalaz77 jalaz77

Hubby first.

Logan... LoganTroyMom

my hubby, right after we first had sex too

Lynette Lynette

my husband did and it was way before sex.  We were both virgins on our wedding night.

nonmember avatar Laura

My husband said it first. I can't remember if it was before or after sex. I know he meant it, too, because he pursued me for months even though I kept turning him down and I was very adamant that he shouldn't say that he loves me because I wasn't interested in anything serious. He just kept wanting to say it, and eventually, I said, "Fine, you can say it" after I had changed my mind about wanting something serious.

Tiffa... TiffanyMarie80

My husband said it first, about 18 months before we had sex (on our wedding night).

MIA0223 MIA0223

DH said it first. At the most random time.

I was filling a mop bucket at work. Lol.

Long before we had sex. Didn't do that until we were married!

Saphi... SaphiraJFire

weomen are more emotional but men say it first usually. its the normal the man says it first we wait to see if he will say it.

Zyva Zyva

I am uncomfortable saying it first. Currently my boyfriend said it first to which I replied I am not sure if I feel that way et, will you wait, and he did. And my husband also said it first, but I was pregnant with his son at the time that he said it. 

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