After the craziness that is the holidays, some people return unwanted gifts, some people vow to spend more time at the gym, and some people sign up on websites that aid married people in finding someone to cheat with. IllicitEncounters.com reported a spike in memberships today, saying that they saw usage on the site increase over 250 percent, prompting experts to predict that January 4 is the most popular day to start an affair. I guess they feel like they've suffered through Christmas and they're now ready to find something or someone who makes them happy. Great.
In a perfect world, January 4 wouldn't be the most popular day for infidelity, it'd be the day when married couples sit down at the table, air some grievances, talk about what's working, what's not, how they feel, what they want, what they need, what makes them happy, what makes them want to run out the door screaming, what they hope for the future, and what they don't.
It's called communicating and so few of us ever really give it a try. I suppose we assume that since we've been married 2 years, 5 years, 15 years, 50 years, etc. that our spouses can read our minds, that they know us so well, but the truth of the matter is that opening your mouth and saying how you feel only gets more important as the years roll by.
Maybe if we did more talking, we'd do less signing up with IllicitEncounters.com and the ilk. Saying what you want or how you feel is extremely difficult compared to having an affair -- it's even harder when you don't know what you want or how you feel. That takes time to figure out, too. Have you ever given it a go? For some, like me, it's a real struggle. I can always see both sides of most any argument and making decisions is not something that comes easily to me.
But that doesn't mean I should just give up and find guilty comfort in the arms of some strange man I met on the Internet. Figuring out how you feel and discussing it with your spouse is not easy, but I think that in the long run, it's more rewarding.
How do you communicate with your spouse?
Photo via skipgo shannon/Flickr
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Comments 5
Ah, yeah, my ex and I had our moments, and I sure enough left him and found an amazing man. Why did this happen? For a myriad of reason, but the main issue being that talking with him was like trying to get a back and forth conversation going with a brick wall. My horses talk back more then he did! Everything was my fault, my problem, and my issue. Everything was fine for him, so I just needed to fix whatever hormone problem I was having and get over it. Counseling? Thats for sissies! Talk about stuff? What stuff? Nothing to talk about! Everythings fine, sorry your not! Sucked. I signed up for every marriage help, and cheaters site I could find! LMAO! Got nothing helpful from either, never did cheat either, not because I wouldn't have (I think?) but cause I never found a guy worth it.
My new SO and I talk. A lot. Sometimes we hit a rough patch, and we don't talk til a few days later about it, sometimes we talk right when we need to. Sometimes one of us didn't realize the other was having an issue, but we talk about it and fix it. Its great!
Maybe they ran a special on Groupon?
i think that these online dating sites which endorse cheating are kinda sickening, but then again tons of people sign up for them so i guess its society itself that is kind of sickening in my opinion. cheating will never stop and will continue to get easier as technology advances. i think that since cheating will happen you need to know all the signs of cheating before hand to nip it in the bud. communication also works but hey, liars will be liars and cheaters as well. doing a quick google search i came up with the 10 signs of cheating to help people who are possibly paranoid about this new online dating stat. http://www.paranoogle.com/10-signs-of-a-cheating-spouse