couple kissingForeplay is really important. Think of it like leaving your house without your underwear on. (If you wear underwear, that is. if you don't ... well ... I bow to you because I don't get how that can work unless you are a stripper and don't need underwear, but even still, underwear is kind of vital to keep your lady bits from being all hurty from a pair of jeans.) Oh where was I? Oh yes, foreplay ... it's important, as important as putting your underwear on before you put on your jeans. You need those underwear to get you ready for the jeans. The jeans might be rough on your ahem delicate flower and so the panties make everything alright. 

Same with foreplay. Gets your ready. Gets you heated. Feels good. Might even feel better than sex itself. And there's a reason for that. And it has nothing to do with your underwear.

It has to do with men. Or women. Your partner. The person you are having sex with. It's because once you are getting down and dirty and having the sex then that's it -- it involves the pleasure of the person you are having sex with. So that is a huge distraction. It's not only about your pleasure, it's about your partner's pleasure. If your partner isn't too great at multi-tasking, then forget having the big O. If your partner can watch an entire quarter of football and not realize you are masturbating next to him on the couch, then keep up the good work masturbating and not worrying about having an orgasm from sex. And if you have a selfish lover, then you are completely screwed (without lube, meaning not in a good way).

Really though, it is kind of a compliment when if someone is having sex with you, they feel SO GOOD they can't focus on anything else but FEELING GOOD. But a compliment doesn't help so much when the throes of passion. Unless it's your man's fingers complimenting your clitoris.

You see, foreplay is such a beautiful act and often better than sex because it puts the focus on the person receiving the pleasure only. So if your man is giving you pleasure, it's all about you. You can relax and focus on that pleasure and your man (hopefully does a really good job pleasuring you.) Unless of course you are doing a 69 or some other mutual fondlings. (Mutual fondlings sounds really kinky, but snobby, doesn't it? Oh hello *insert British accent*, could I interest you in some mutual fondlings?) But if the focus of foreplay is only on one person, the person doing the work has to w-o-r-k. Make it count, people! And how we can make sure it counts is to NOT let out any fake moans of ecstasy or feel-good wiggles when it doesn't feel good. If you are going to fake feeling pleasure from foreplay, sex will probably be a big fat waste o' time, too.

Most times foreplay gets you that undivided attention to the parts that turn you on. Let it turn you on. Make it last. Ask for it more often. And give it to your partner more often, too. (Give some, get some!) It's going to make your sex life better. Besides, isn't sex the best when some foreplay kind of action is involved? For most, plain old in and out grunting sex doesn't cut it. Some extra stimulation with fingers or toys almost always makes it hotter. 

Do you prefer foreplay to sex? Maybe you like an equal part combo of the two?

 

Image via Ollie Crafoord/Flickr