Every year we make resolutions. And every year they are boring. Lose weight. Pay off the credit cards. Eat better. Stop smoking. Exercise. Blah blah blah. Can we please stop kidding ourselves here and instead focus on what really matters?
Sex. That's what matters, and none of us are having enough of it, are we? And if we are, we can always have more, right? Besides, if our New Year's Resolution for 2012 is about having more sex, all those other resolutions are actually being accomplished as well. Don't believe me? Here's proof:
Sex burns calories -- 150 to 250 per half hour. So if you have more sex, it's like exercise. Get healthy, lose weight! Now you just got to get him to last more than 15 minutes since that's only around 75 to 125 calories. You know what you can eat that is 75 calories? Nothing good.
Sex keeps you from using your credit cards because you're too busy getting it on to get to the mall. Unless of course you're paying for sex. In which case I hope your hooker has a 3-hour minimum so at least you can be working off a hearty meal.
Sex makes you hungry. Oh it doesn't make you hungry? Well good. Then you will lose weight during your romp and not pile it back on after. If it does make you hungry like it does me, just make sure to grab something healthy. Or go ahead and eat the brownie because you just burned some calories. Refer to the amount of time you got it on and calculate how much you can eat. Or get a hooker.
Sex gets rid of stress. It releases endorphins and puts you in a good mood -- it's the ultimate stress buster. We should all be in a better mood for 2012. Let's hope there is less stabby stuff and more happy stuff. Plus less stress will help you live longer, letting you love longer. And less stress, less smoking. Unless of course you smoke to stop stress. If you do that, you are killing yourself with each cigarette, haven't you seen those ads? So stop it.
Sex will bring you and your partner closer. Everyone is happy when getting it on! Love love! Unless of course one of you has that hooker problem. Then you're just screwed.
Will your New Year's Resolution involve more sex?
Image via DavidMartynHunt/Flickr
Something my kids handmade
A fun holiday at home with my family
Some time off!
Something just for me, like a plush robe