Only Bad Guys Are Less Attracted to Their Wives After Baby


The sex life after baby does wane. No one would or could lie about that. You go from being a couple with no kids and oodles of free time to canoodle to a couple whose time is mostly spent tending to a screaming creature who can neither speak nor tell you what he or she needs. Every couple makes an adjustment. But here's the good news: Once the sex does come back, it is (and should be) better than ever. After all, you have just shared something life changing and profound. Good sex is bound to follow, right?

Well, not so for many couples. The Daily Mail interviewed couples after baby and the surprising results show that men actually desire their wives less after baby. Somehow they're either turned off by their spouse or they're too preoccupied by the baby and the stress to want to do the nasty. Whatever the reason, it's very, very wrong and sad. 

The fact is, a baby should be made from the love two people share. It should enhance that love and make it hotter. These men are all wrong.

It was one of those stories I read and was struck by how lucky I am. There are times in my day to day life where I forget just how special my relationship is with my husband, and then I read about the men out there I could be with. I shudder.

Who do these men think they are? Every couple goes through a transition when baby comes and both the man and woman need to adjust accordingly, but these short-sighted men are pretending that a new mom's lack of sex drive lasts forever. It doesn't.

For women, giving birth and raising a newborn are intensely physical experiences. Our bodies house these little ones for nine months. Then we likely nurse them on our sore, swollen breasts, often in the middle of the night. It isn't easy work, and no, a lot of times we don't feel super sexual. But it returns.

Child rearing isn't easy for men, either. I get that. But it's physically harder on women, and the last thing they should be worried about is that their man will find them less attractive. It's insane. Hey dude: She carried your baby! What is sexier than that?

It's just plain immature and impatient to reject your wife after baby.

Did you go through a hard sex time after baby?

marriage, sex


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nonmember avatar Ginger

I agree its a hard truth but the reality is men go through a lot of stuff with a new baby too. Yes moms bodies are ravaged and drained. Yes we are tired. But so are dads. Add to that the truth that no, we don't look the same. Like or leave sex IS about physical attraction. I am fortunate enough to have a man who is obviously blind to all my physical flaws but just cuz some guys can't ignore it doesn't make them bad, just makes them human. It'd be a lie to pretend we are just as attracted to our spouses after they go bald and grow back hair and get soft.

Kritika Kritika

I agree HOWEVER do you see what some women look like after kids? They cut all their hair off, stop showering, do not lose any baby weight, etc.. It's sad but men are visual creatures and totally letting yourself go isn't going to help the sex drive at all. I think every mother deserves an adjustement period but it's not fair to your spouse to of once had a smokin hot wife to come home to a hot mess every day. Every mother I know agrees with this and they all have good sex lives!

That said, some men do suffer from a "mental illness" that after kids they view their wives as mothers and it freaks them out. So they get a girlfriend. Something to do with the madonna/whore complex...

nonmember avatar cat

I have to agree with the above comments. If you're talking about a newborn, it'a one thing, but if your "baby" is 2 and you're still not shaving your legs or throwing on some lipstick every now and then, it can't come as a huge surprise that your man might not be as turned on by you. He should accept that your body might never be the same, but you should never just quit trying all together.

nonmember avatar Shelly

I don't think this article is fair. If my husband gained a ton of weight which he did not lose, stopped taking care of himself, only started looking at himself as a father rather then a husband as well, and generally just looks like he went through a hurricane...I would struggle with attraction to my husband. (I'm I'm not a bad woman.) Having a baby is NOT an excuse to gain and carry expressive amounts of weight, and to stop carrying if you look like a person who never showers. Why should a man HAVE to feel attracted to a woman who was once a pretty woman, that is now a fat, jiggly, only thinking of herself as a mom, messy, smelly person? (I realize, that's extreme...but you get where I'm going with that.) Some woman think having a baby is an OK reason to become very fat. It's not.

Bertha21 Bertha21

No my SO was just as crazy about me like he has been since he met me! lol I wasn't wanting sex though. I hated even thinking of it and he wanted it every night! I am lucky, he thinks I am gorgeous no matter what I look like. 

JCHsq... JCHsquared

This is really sad to hear. Thankfully after giving birth to our second son almost a year ago, my Hubby and I have the best sex life we've ever had.

nonmember avatar Lindsay

I think women should stop inviting men to the delivery room during childbirth. No one wants to see that not even me. I am a woman. It can be traumatizing to say the least. Men have madonna-whore complexes that are well documented in psychology. It really isn't shocking. Many articles on this website are just opinions that can be shared on twitter. I have learned nothing by reading this. A little research goes a very long way!

mande... manderspanders

Hey Shelly... What does this have to do with becoming fat?

I see plenty of women while at the grocery store who are much smaller than I am, but dressed in sweats, no makeup, look generally frazzled, and have a child (or several) in tow...  Maybe they were once attractive, but not now...

As a plus size gal, my husband already loves me for me (and my curves); but if I let myself go and stopped caring about how I looked and stopped making an effort, then ... yea, I could understand that he wouldn't be so attracted to me.

Size isn't everything; and a woman doesn't have to be "fat" to be unattractive.

Laneydo Laneydo

I don't see the big deal. The article said "or they're too preoccupied with the stress", which I think is the case for a lot of women post-baby, too. It's only a problem if husband and wife are out of sync on how sexual they feel.

Zacks... Zacksmama82411

i dont know, i chopped my hair off and instead of it being long and drabby like it was while i was pregnant, its now lshort and bodiful :) my hubby and i started getting it on again 4 weeks pp (i know, big nono) but our sex life has gotten way better! granted my husband and i are both very sexual, but hey, as long as you feed the dog, he wont stray... yes, i was tired, but having sex and an explosive orgasm helps ease the stress and tension... ive already lost all my babyweight ( we only have a 3 1/2 month old) and actually fit into the pants that i was in 2 years ago! i understand wearing pjs all day, hell i still do.. but as a new mom, id rather be myself as a new mom, not be someone who im not... ive always been comfortable with who i am and why should having a blessed bundle of joy make me any less attractive? it makes me happy having a child with the man of my dreams, so why not show it? yes my hubby did say it was traumatizing but after 9 months of being cautious with our positions, hell im letting loose! and he loves it, he says it feels like he's with a whole new woman!

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