Babies Can Make Your Marriage Stronger

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Babies add something amazing to your life once they arrive. They bring a different kind of love, so amazing in its newness and overwhelming in its enormity that many mothers (and fathers, too!) forget the love that brought them to baby in the first place. Many parents find their relationship stressed and changed after baby for good reason.

Babies are all-consuming. Actress Sarah Jessica Parker spoke to this truth in a very real way. She told the UK Telegraph just how hard her 14-year marriage and 20-year relationship with husband Matthew Broderick has become. She said:

Kids can really distract you from your relationship. Maybe in good ways and bad ways. It's important to have all eyes on all parts of the relationship. We've been together for 20 years and you have good days, you have decent days, and you have bad days. That's a marriage. That's a relationship. That's a friendship, even -- relationships outside the marriage run the same course. If you're in it for the long haul and you want meaningful relationships, you are going to go through lots of different periods.

She is so, so right. Too many people have babies too quickly in their relationships and quickly discover they didn't know one another well enough to raise a baby together. Even more, they haven't seen the seasons relationships go through. Ideally, people would be together at least five years before even considering a baby together.

The fact is, relationships are up and down and parenting together adds a huge challenge. Suddenly everything about the way he was raised versus the way you were raised is called into question, and you find you don't agree on things and everything changes. It doesn't have to be a bad thing, of course. 

If you view it as an opportunity to know one another better and learn about each other's childhoods, then it's a good thing. But not everyone can manage that. Marriages go through good and bad times, and you have to have the faith to hang on in the bad times to get through to more good times.

Babies change things, but they can change it for the better. It's all about perspective and faith in the relationship.

Did your baby change your relationship?

 

time for mom, marriage

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Lynette Lynette

It made us come closer together. I think if you have a strong marriage already children bring you closer.  But children brought into a struggling marriage will more than likely do the opposite.  We were married 4yrs before we had our first.  I am glad we had that time to grow up a bit  and grow closer before we had our first(we were 20& 21 when we got married.)

LoveM... LoveMyViolet

I was 33 when I got married. I thought our relationship was strong, but all a child did was expose cracks that were not seen before. My DH wanted kids, wanted to get married, but apparently does not want the responsibility of it all. I am now saddled with all the responsibility (taking care of our child, paying the bills etc) and am in a marriage that is so flawed it barely exists. 

sammy... sammyd2011

My husband and I were dating 8 months when we decided to spend the rest of forever together. Two months after that we found out we were pregnant. We got married 2 months before we had our baby girl and we've never been happier or more in love now that she's here. I definitely fell in love with my husband all over again by having our baby. It's been a crazy ride and I always thought I'd wait some years after getting married to have babies, but I wouldn't change a thing. Newly wed and a new mom.. I'm on cloud nine

Samal... Samallama

I think it's different for every marriage/relationship. But I personally don't get why people don't want one on one time with their SO before having kids. People rush into babies and I honestly have a hard time wrapping my head around why. But then again I've been with my SO for 20 years and no kids lol. 

thatg... thatgirl70

It did for my husband and me. I know that's not true for every couple, but we were so happy to have a child (after trying for several years) that it just brought us closer together.

chich... chichiwvu

I agree 100% with Lynette.  IF you already have a strong marriage, children make it stronger! With both of our children, DH and I have grown closer, though we do have less time together. It's like each child makes my heart grow that much more. Yes, there are some very stressful and tough days, but that is marriage! There is just something about realizing this little person is a little of you, a little of him - it just makes it all worth while! 


And the time a couple is together has nothing to do with it. We got pregnant 6 months after marriage, and our relationship seems to be stronger than my sister and BIL, who were together almost 5 years before having a child. It just really depends on the relationship because no 2 are alike!

Kylie Steele

The first year is the hardest, we grew apart but after the first year our relationship has gotten stronger as we watch our little man grow up!!!
he is AMAZING!!!!!

racha... rachaelvalkyrie

I was friends with my husband for just over two years before I realized I was madly in love with him. I confessed my love in July, left my bf for him and found out I was pregnant the last week of November. We have now been together 7 and a half years, married 4, and have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. It's not the ideal love story, but it's ours. There have been hard times, but we have worked through it all together. Our relationship is strong because it's based on mutual trust and communication and the trials of raising our children while still getting to know each other have made us even stronger.

Crazy... Crazy_Daze

My husband and I had our first when we were only married for a little over a year. Our marriage was not in a good way at that time, but the little dude brought us closer and kept us together I think.

piggy... piggy11721

My husband and I were together 8 years before I gave birth to our first. We were high school sweethearts. I was 15 when we first got together and 23 when I had our first. I value that time we had together to learn who we were as a couple without kids. By the time we had our first....it only helped make our bond grow stronger. We grew together.

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