There are some days when you feel like you have heard it all, and then you hear something so insane, so outrageous, and so totally out there that you realize you've heard nothing at all. Well, the poop tattoo story is kind of like that for me.
The story (which may or may not be an Internet hoax) is this: A woman cheated on her tattoo artist boyfriend with his close friend. He acted like it was all cool (even though he knew). He offered her a back tattoo alleged to be a picture of Narnia, which would have been lame enough on its own. But this guy gave her something else instead. If you're thinking that he tattooed a steaming pile of poo replete with flies buzzing around it ... then you are right, my friends. He did.
Now she is (allegedly) suing him for $100,000, but I say, if she was really cheating, then she deserved it.
Apparently, tattoo artist Ryan L. Fitzjerald of Dayton, Ohio plied his ex Rossie Brovent with tequila shots and got her to sign a waiver claiming she was OK with whatever he decided to put on her back. Apparently this included steaming piles of human (it's human, right?) waste. Aw, yeah.
Oh how I hope this is a true story.
Look, if this is not a hoax and Brovent was cheating with Fitzjerald's friend, then she shouldn't have trusted him to tattoo her back. And if she wasn't, well, that sucks for her. But it's a really funny story.
In his defense, the tat could be a candle with butterflies around it. It could be something totally else, right? I mean, the stink lines could be heat waves if you look at it a different way. Who am I kidding? If I were Brovent, I would probably get it lasered off, too. But it's hardly as if she is blameless in this.
I, for one, have learned a few valuable love lessons in all this:
1.) If I cheat, be discreet and don't get a tattoo by the man I am cuckolding.
2.) If I get a tattoo on my back, bring a double mirror.
3.) If I have a poop tattoo, accept that I probably deserved it and move on.
Now that we have cleared these love lessons up, we can get back to laughing. Now I really have heard it all.
Do you think she deserved the poop tattoo?
Image via LadyDragonflyCC -TY for 250,000 Views/Flickr