We've all heard about the Nice Guy thing. Women, according to popular myth, don't like 'em. Is it true? Do women actually prefer Bad Boys to Nice Guys? Sort of.
That doesn't mean it's the right thing to do, though. Let's take a look at these reasons we too often avoid the Nice Guy and decide if it's really worth it to keep chasing the Bad Boys.
(Hint: it's not.)
1. It's hard for some of us to trust a Nice Guy. Not because they're not trustworthy -- in fact, it's quite the opposite. The more trustworthy a guy seems, the harder it may be for a woman to actually believe that they're as good as they seem. See, women get kind of jaded about the whole Nice Guy thing (after dating too many jerks), which means that it takes time for a woman to trust that a Nice Guy is, well, actually for reals.
2. Bad Boys care about themselves -- a lot -- and it makes us think they care about us. That's not a great thing in a relationship; however, it means that while the Nice Guy will bide his time, waiting for the right moment to ask a girl out, the Bad Boy will swoop in and tell her what he wants -- her. Not something that lends to real relationship material, but certainly makes it easier to decode what it is, exactly, he wants.
3. Nice Guys have their shit together. Bad Boys don't. Women like a challenge. A fixer-upper of a partner. While a Nice Guy has his bank accounts and steady job, a Bad Boy presents a challenge. And some women, well, they like a challenge.
4. Some women are afraid of intimacy. The one thing the Bad Boy rarely does is want to become intimate. If a woman is already gun-shy about commitment, she's met her mate in the Bad Boy who has no illusions of becoming marriage or long-term relationship material.
5. Some women suffer low self-esteem. Women who don't feel very good about themselves may not be able to handle the Nice Guy that treats her well. The Bad Boy, however, may treat her in the way she treats herself -- badly.
So women, get your heads on straight and get your priorities in check. Nice Guys, well, they're the way to go.
What do you think? Do you buy into the whole Bad Boy idea?
Image via sunshinecity/Flickr
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Comments 23
I bought into the whole bad-boy as a teenager, like most teenage girls do, for all the aforementioned reasons . Then I grew up . I married a guy who was always turned down for being the 'nice guy' .
Some women do not gain maturity with age and will perpetuallthy seek the 'bad boy' . They will never do anything for you, and they will never change . No amount of love and devotion can repair him if he doesn't personally want to change for himself, not for you .
my husband is a nice guy. it took me awhile to trust his and once it got to be offical for us i explained to him why. and being a nice guy he totaly understood and gave me time to work thru my insecuritys and helped me :)
But I mean....is there really any truth to it? The only ones who I ever hear complain about women liking "bad boys" are self-proclaimed "nice guys" and well, usually they aren't really as nice as they like to think they are.
Which begs the question....why are we letting a certain type of man perpetuate this stereotype? Why let them define us? I just don't understand this at all.
If a guy consistently gets turned down, it's so much easier for him to chalk it up to "Nice Guy Syndrome" than to dig deep and figure out what he's doing wrong. Go to any dating website and se how many men write something on their profiles like, "Woe is me! I'm one of the last few remaining nice guys out there. I live on the Island of Misfit Toys, and nobody wants a Nice-Guy-In-The-Box! Waaaah!"