5 Reasons Women Don't Like Nice Guys


man smokingWe've all heard about the Nice Guy thing. Women, according to popular myth, don't like 'em. Is it true? Do women actually prefer Bad Boys to Nice Guys? Sort of.

That doesn't mean it's the right thing to do, though. Let's take a look at these reasons we too often avoid the Nice Guy and decide if it's really worth it to keep chasing the Bad Boys.

(Hint: it's not.)

1. It's hard for some of us to trust a Nice Guy. Not because they're not trustworthy -- in fact, it's quite the opposite. The more trustworthy a guy seems, the harder it may be for a woman to actually believe that they're as good as they seem. See, women get kind of jaded about the whole Nice Guy thing (after dating too many jerks), which means that it takes time for a woman to trust that a Nice Guy is, well, actually for reals.

2. Bad Boys care about themselves -- a lot -- and it makes us think they care about us. That's not a great thing in a relationship; however, it means that while the Nice Guy will bide his time, waiting for the right moment to ask a girl out, the Bad Boy will swoop in and tell her what he wants -- her. Not something that lends to real relationship material, but certainly makes it easier to decode what it is, exactly, he wants.

3. Nice Guys have their shit together. Bad Boys don't. Women like a challenge. A fixer-upper of a partner. While a Nice Guy has his bank accounts and steady job, a Bad Boy presents a challenge. And some women, well, they like a challenge.

4. Some women are afraid of intimacy. The one thing the Bad Boy rarely does is want to become intimate. If a woman is already gun-shy about commitment, she's met her mate in the Bad Boy who has no illusions of becoming marriage or long-term relationship material.

5. Some women suffer low self-esteem. Women who don't feel very good about themselves may not be able to handle the Nice Guy that treats her well. The Bad Boy, however, may treat her in the way she treats herself -- badly.

So women, get your heads on straight and get your priorities in check. Nice Guys, well, they're the way to go.

What do you think? Do you buy into the whole Bad Boy idea?

Image via sunshinecity/Flickr

dating, love


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

babyb... babybirch

I bought into the whole bad-boy as a teenager, like most teenage girls do, for all the aforementioned reasons . Then I grew up . I married a guy who was always turned down for being the 'nice guy' .

Some women do not gain maturity with age and will perpetuallthy seek the 'bad boy' . They will never do anything for you, and they will never change . No amount of love and devotion can repair him if he doesn't personally want to change for himself, not for you .

JCKit... JCKitten87

my husband is a nice guy. it took me awhile to trust his and once it got to be offical for us i explained to him why. and being a nice guy he totaly understood and gave me time to work thru my insecuritys and helped me :)

Boobo... Boobookittt74

Ive had a whole theory on the "bad boy" thing and yes I've definately chased the bad boys. I really think it's that any bad boy movie u see there's like ONE girl that can kinda "tame" him or that e actually has feelings for , a soft spot! And somewhere in is we want that whole "rebel without a cause" fantasy. Like to be that one special girl to get his heart wen no one else can. Yep that's my theory!

nonmember avatar Shannon

I decided in high school I didn't want to waste my time on anyone who didn't treat me well and care about me, and since no one like that ever expressed any interest in me, I went on my first date at age 18 with a nice guy (who actually was a d-bag, but I didn't see it coming). I met my husband when I was 19 and I decided to go out with him primarily because he was the nicest, friendliest person I'd ever met. We've been together for 10 years and he is STILL that nice and friendly. I feel like a real horse's ass sometimes because he is much more patient, kind and understanding of others than me. But he's super considerate and sweet, a wonderful father and amazing in bed. I don't think most women realize that fact about nice guys: they want YOU to be happy too, so they are great lovers.

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

I went on exactly one date with a bad boy and I'm not even sure that counts since we went dutch. I was young and innocent and didn't even realize he was a bad boy till afterwards. Mind you, he was married and on a mission to sleep with as many college girls as he could and he hit on my best friend the very night I told him I wasn't interested in going further so he should probably count as five or six bad boys in the tally. Anyway, I dumped him for the nice guy who was to become my husband so my bad boy phase was less than a week long.

nonmember avatar Miranda

What kind of "nice guy" are we talking about here? Are we talking about men who treat us well and have good character overall, or are we talking about the Nice Guy who self-identifies as such? Cause the first one is awesome. The second one is one half of a myth. The myth that says women like being mistreated, so we choose the bad boys over the nice guys. Looking at this myth in a historical context make it very interesting indeed because the myth that women are masochists has persisted for apparently quite some time as a way to minimize some of the atrocities commited to individual women (abusive relationships for example).

But I mean....is there really any truth to it? The only ones who I ever hear complain about women liking "bad boys" are self-proclaimed "nice guys" and well, usually they aren't really as nice as they like to think they are.

Which begs the question....why are we letting a certain type of man perpetuate this stereotype? Why let them define us? I just don't understand this at all.

linzemae linzemae

I think I've always went for the good guys. I've always had different tastes... Love short stocky men with light muscles. My husband is the nicest man I know.

sunmo... sunmoonandstar

I dnt kno witch guys I went for where nice guys and witch where bad boys. Like someone else said the selfperclaimed nice guys are not as nice as they think/say. They can offin be worst then bad guys.

nonmember avatar guest

Did the bad boy thing and it hurt. I've done the good guy thing and it can be annoying and boring. I married my soul mate, he's a nice guy who challenges me and doesn't take my sh!t.

kelli... kelli0585

The self-proclaimed "Nice Guys" that always get the shaft are usually just the "Whiney Guys With Some Sort of Social Inadequacy."

If a guy consistently gets turned down, it's so much easier for him to chalk it up to "Nice Guy Syndrome" than to dig deep and figure out what he's doing wrong. Go to any dating website and se how many men write something on their profiles like, "Woe is me! I'm one of the last few remaining nice guys out there. I live on the Island of Misfit Toys, and nobody wants a Nice-Guy-In-The-Box! Waaaah!"

1-10 of 28 comments 123 Last